Hey girls! Thanks so much for your questions. Y'all are definitely giving me something to work for in this post! ;) The answers are pretty detailed, so I think I'm going to do this over a couple of posts, so thanks for being patient!Most of them were about homemaking and the transition so I'm going to pick the broadest ones to answer. Hope this helps!
* What did you do before you became a housewife? Did you intend on being a housewife or SAHM eventually?
Honestly, no I didn't. I was raised with the feministic mindset instilled in me. I don't blame my mother. She came into adulthood in the 70's and it was all around her. She worked full time, so after school, we spent time with my grandmother. It was through her that I learned that there even were such things as homemakers. She was a homemaker all her life. I remember wondering why she was always ironing my grandfather's shirts, or serving him dinner. When I was growing up, she would tell me that I would have to do this when I had a husband. I smartly told her, "He'll have two feet of his own. He can do it himself!" I didn't understand why she did was she did.
It was known that right after high school, I would enter college. It wasn't even an option really. And I'm very thankful for that. I really think that even if I knew I wanted to be a homemaker, I would have gone to college. I know there are some women who don't think it's a useful experience, but I loved it. And I'm secure knowing that I have a degree that could get me a professional job if (heaven forbid) something happen to my husband. And I take great pride in that diploma hanging up in the office. I worked very hard to graduate with honors and I'm very proud of it.
Before I became a homemaker, I was a 5th grade teacher. I loved it. I did not, however, like the politics of it all. But the teaching part was awesome. I still miss my kiddos and am considering subbing every once in a while just to keep my teaching skills current.
* Do you plan on having children soon?
Eeesh. I was dreading answering this one, but I'm all about honesty here. So, no. We don't plan on having a child soon. And if I'm being even more honest, we are not quite sure that we would like to have a child. (Please no nasty comments, as this is something I do struggle with. They will be erased.) I know that children are a gift from God and bring joy to their parents, but I've never really been the motherly type. This wasn't something that just happened. I've always known this- probably since as early as 12 or 13 years.
And believe me. I struggle with this daily. Do I have a child now, even though we are not prepared for one? Would I resent the fact that I was forced to do something that had such a huge impact on my life? What if I turn 50 and suddenly realize that I want a child and it's too late? What happens when we're 80 years old and we have no one to take care of us? (In Hispanic culture, you take care of your elders until they die. It isn't often that a family would send them to a nursing home or senior community.) Does God hate me because I don't want to have a child just yet or maybe ever? All of these questions run through my mind daily. And the truth is, even after praying about them, I still don't know.
I do know that if we were to get pregnant, I would never even think of not having it. And I do know that I don't want to bring a child into this world just because it is expected of me. I often get scared, too, because of the kind of world we live in. I can't imagine how the state of our everyday lives will be when my child is 30, or 40. It makes me sad to think they would grow up in a world with greed abounding, no polar bears, constant war, global warming, no more room in landfills, etc. It just breaks my heart.
* How did the topic of you becoming a housewife come up with your husband?Was the transition difficult on your relationship? I'm a SAHM and it was rough for us at first for a while- he didn't really understand everything I did and I didn't give him enough credit for the ways he contributed.
I can honestly say that I lucked out when I found my husband. He truly is wonderful and is such a major blessing in my life. But he wasn't always as supportive. He was supportive in the sense that he wanted me to be happy. But he was worried about the money issue. He grew up in a divorced family and his mother worked hard her whole life. All he ever saw were women working full time. His mother was only able to throw a fast dinner together (which was better than my mother- we ate out or had fast food pretty much every night!) and he spent his after school time at babysitter after babysitter. Unfortunately, as a single mother, she had no option.
We sat down, looked at our income and budget without my teacher's salary to see if it would work. Thankfully it did, but I knew that it would mean drastic changes in our spending habits, and that meant A LOT less shopping for me. I was used to many perks and we liked to travel often. But, we also didn't spend much time together and I could tell we were already growing apart. I would come home, be grouchy, cranky, sad or all three. I didn't want to get off the couch much less cook dinner or spend time doing fun things. Weekends were our only time together and that was spent cleaning up our house and getting our life organized again. Needless to say, we couldn't last much longer this way. So, I resigned after my first year of teaching. I guess we sort of just jumped in head first!
Once my husband began seeing that we could make it on one income, he started feeling much better about the money side of things. And once he saw how much happier we were, it was a done deal. Then he began reading awesome books that told him that God put him in charge of providing for his family, no matter how small or large. It is his job to go work and provide and my job to help him and make his home a haven for him to return to. It's as simple as that. And God has put such a strong heart in my husband. He takes on his role as provider and head of the house in such a way that makes me so proud of him. I know it's not easy. I know sometimes he gets stressed out. I can't imagine having the weight of my family's world resting square on my shoulders. But I know that God made men and women very different. And he equipped them to handle these pressures as long as they seek His guidance and ask for Him to give them strength.
* Are any of your friends housewives?
Yes! In my closest group of girlfriends, we all stay home by the grace of God. I am the only one without children though. I do have a couple of homemaker friends without children but I'm not as close to them.
It's so nice to have that support system and to be with like-minded women who know your struggles and understand why you gave up what you did. We're all about women being home! :) We try to get together every once in a while to do lunch or craft and catch up. It definitely helps to get some adult interaction time, otherwise, I think I'd go nuts!
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Alrightly gals, that's it for today. I'll be back with the rest of the questions tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday! Tomorrow is Earth Day and I love celebrating mama Earth! Yay!
Happy Earth Day Eve! ;)
xoxo Y
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