The Smallest Blessings Thursday

Thanks for joining me for the Smallest Blessings Thursday this week! Where are you finding your small blessings? Are you looking for them or do they just pop up? This is the whole point of this meme- recognizing that we are given many blessings daily, big and small, and remember to give thanks and praise to the Lord for them. Even the small ones deserve our thanksgiving!

If you would like to participate this week, just hop on over here to the see the rules. They're super easy and we all know each one of us has at least one small blessing to share!

This week, my small blessings are each of the milestones our Mattie has made! He still gets very timid and scared at times, but there are other times that he just runs and hops all over the yard! Look at him go!

He is starting to know what treats are and that they taste very yummy. He knows the feeling of having the back of his ears scratched. He knows that the soft, warm bed he gets to sleep in each night is safe and secure. Less and less, he's waking up from what I can only assume are nightmares, as he wakes in a panic and in self defense mode. He's learning that he doesn't have to always look over his shoulder when he's eating- no one is there to steal his meal. He's learning that mommy and daddy do not know how to stop giving him kisses and squeezing on him! I think he is just really coming into what it means to be a dog- not some faceless/nameless worker that is holed up in a crate 24/7.

I praise God for these small little miracles. And I'm so thankful that I think he's finally understanding what it feels like to be loved and cherished.

Happy puppy love!

xoxo Y

What are your smallest blessings this week?

Who knew?

Sorry for the long wait- my sweet mother in law has been in town since Thursday and we've been on the go ever since. My momma likes to spend the night when she comes down, so we're usually dragging Southern Hubby to all kinds of good shops! One of her usual stops here is Half Price Books. (She doesn't have one in her state and reads about 3 books a week!) I don't know if you have one in your city, but I'm hoping you do. Not only are the books literally half price (or less!) but by purchasing my books there, I'm supporting recycling. It's win-win.

Anyway, I'm a pretty avid reader. I've always loved chick lit books. They're funny, girly and enjoyable. Unfortunately, they're also really vain and materialistic.

But thankfully, I recently discovered that there is Christian chick lit genre! Who knew? Also known as Church Chick Lit, it keeps the good qualities that I love about the genre, but loses the bad ones like promiscuity, materialism, adultery, etc. And it is supposed to give a great message about faith and walking through life with the Lord.

So as soon as we walked in, I made a bee line to the religion section. And there is was- two huge walls full of Christian fiction. I was in readers heaven! :) I picked up a bunch of titles that looked like so much fun! And the best part was that half of them were in the clearance section- $1, baby!

Just thought my gals out there may like to check some of these books out. I'm starting with The Trophy Wives Club by Kristen Billerbeck. I've been looking for this one for a while and am so happy I waited and found it used and for only five dollars. I'll let you all know how I like it!

Happy literary enjoyment!
xoxo Y

Dear Anonymous...

Since I'm always up to a good debate, I figured I'd answer this myself. And since you did went the 'anonymous' route, I've got to do it publicly. Of course, I'm going to try to stay as classy and lady-like as I possibly can while making my point. (But of course, that's just me. I have no idea what my homemaking readers are going to say but I do know a lot of them are fiercely passionate about their calling. And might be a bit more passionate after reading what you called them.)

From Anonymous:

What on earth has you so anti-working women? Do you not believe that God gives women talents too (besides cooking and cleaning?) I work full-time with two children, cook every night and volunteer at the school more than the moms who stay at home. If you drop your child at preschool and then go to Hobby Lobby and I drop mine and go do something productive for society, how am I not an effective "manager" of my family? My house is spotless and my meals are home cooked. You gals are seriously L-A-Z-Y and using this as a crutch or need to learn how to multitask! I know this will be deleted...flame away!

~Amy

Nothing on Earth has me anti-working women. My opinion comes straight from God's direction- plain and simple. Of course, I do believe that He gives women talents besides those of the homemaking genre. For example, I use the talents He's given me to create jewelry, sew, photograph places and people I love, volunteer and give to animal rescue, and many other things. Besides my jewelry, none of these talents make money, which I assume is one of the reasons you continue to work. Is every woman who works full time sinning against God? No, I don't personally believe so, but this is where He wants me to be. I know this. He called me here. Which is why I resigned from my teaching position only a year after I graduated from college.

And I'm not even going to dignify the 'lazy' comment with any sort of childish retaliation. I can only assume jealousy, but God knows what is really in your heart. Yes, I do go to Hobby Lobby; yes, I do have lunch with girls and get mani/pedis during the day, but that doesn't make me a lady of leisure by any means. I need those things to recharge mentally and spiritually. Being a housewife is a demanding job, whether you want to believe it or not.

Since you obviously are not a regular reader, you wouldn't know that I do not have children. I can't even imagine how much more stressful my life would be with a baby. I know that I could not keep my house clean, take care of and satisfy my husband, volunteer, create, have time for myself and work a full time job. Something would suffer- my marriage, my mental well being, my spiritual or physical health, or the relationship I have with my children. It would be impossible to do it all. I sincerely pray for your health. I hope you're sleeping enough, eating the right things, getting in some exercise, finding time to yourself, and most importantly, getting some time in with God.

If and when we do have a child, I sure as heck am not going to send my baby to be raised by some stranger who is just working at a daycare for money. I'd rather cut off my arm.

Unfortunately, there are some women out there who are single mothers and have to do just that and I think about them every single day. My sister is a single mother and I know what she went through when he had to take my precious niece to day care each day. She told me her heart broke into millions of pieces every time. I don't know what your situation is and honestly, I'm going to try hard not to judge your motives for working or for leaving your children in day care if you did, despite the fact that you judged stay at home wives.

With your full time job, maintaining a spotless house, contributing to society (might I ask what you do?) cooking delicious meals, being volunteer extraordinaire at your children's school, and whatever else you do that deems you mother of the year, I'm curious to wonder how much time you spend with your children, or better yet- your husband? Sounds like you are loaded with things to do and I didn't once hear of you playing games with your kids, praying with them, baking cookies for their lunches or any quality time in general. And I definitely did not hear of you having enough energy to go on dates with your husband, or give him a back rub, or mke him his favorite dessert, or have special "mommy and daddy" time. To me, being a home manager is not as important as being home, taking care of and having time for your family. If you are able to do all of the above things, and spend enough quality time with your kids, and keep your husband happy and satisfied, and maintain good health, then I sure as heck want to know what sort of pill you're on, cause I need to get me some of that!

Anyway, hope I answered your question and got my two cents in as well. It's funny how being behind a computer screen allows people to say things that they'd never say to someones face. The Internet is awesome when you can meet like minded people and form friendships, but it shows its downside in cases like these. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Happy HOMEMAKING, my loveies! Happy HOMEMAKING!

xoxo Y

Making Your Home a Haven: Review and Check-Up

I'm so glad that Tammy is doing this. I can be honest with myself about all the changes we've tried to make over the last few weeks. Here we go...

Is your wake-up time set realistically, and are you being disciplined in following it?

If I'm being honest, no. I haven't been all that disciplined. I think my wake up time is set pretty realistically. I should be able to get up at 6:30am. I used to do it a few months ago with no problem. I LOVED my quiet time alone with God. Loved it. I wasn't rushing to do my prayer and studies before Southern Hubby woke up.

Is your morning routine functioning to boost your morning, or do you need to alter it a little?

I think if it was done correctly and on time, I'd have a pretty much perfect morning routine. It's just a matter of getting up in enough time.

Have you been doing your been doing your evening routine? Do you need to change anything?

I'm on and off with my evening routine. Sometimes it gets done, and sometimes it doesn't. It seems like once I start my day off right, the rest falls into place. Go figure, huh?

One thing I need to be more aware of is my computer time. I've been better about not spending a lot of my day time on the computer so I feel like I have a million and one things to do online and the only time I may have is right before bed. Which leads me to...

Is your bed time working out? Do you need to tweak it, or just be more disciplined?

I think 10pm is a good time for me. And generally I do get in bed at 10pm but that doesn't mean that I fall asleep. I take my 'work' into bed with me. I bring along my laptop, my homemaking binder and any papers that need to get sorted out or letters that need to be written.

That all has to get done beforehand, because if not, then I don't 'fall asleep' until around midnight. I just can't take anything into the bed with me. It have to be more disciplined about that.

How has your attitude been?

My attitude has improved definitely. If I want to get in a sour mood, I literally tell myself that I can't be that way. I need to look at things differently. I'm more affectionate with my husband. I put work down as soon as he walks through the door.

But one thing I'm struggling with is feeling very 'unimportant' or 'unintelligent.' This completely contradicts with how I've been feeling since the day I started staying home. I've always been so proud of being a homemaker. I was never ashamed to say it out loud. But recently, I've just been feeling like I'm not making a difference in the world.

I have family members that are doctors, teachers, entrepreneurs, etc. I'm feeling very unimportant. I don't know that I making my mark on the world. I'm associated titles and money with importance and I know this is SO wrong. God doesn't care if I have a few letters before or after my name. He doesn't care if my name is in the paper or is on a building.

This is such a new feeling for me and I don't really know how to handle it. I'd really appreciate if you would pray for me while I struggle with this. I know that only bad is attached to it- pride, vanity, wanting to feel important, wanting to be recognized. I know there is a lesson in all of this. God is trying to teach me something and I need to be listening more instead of letting my thoughts run rampant. Your thoughts are so appreciated and needed while I work these issues out. Thank you so much, sweet friends.

Be back tomorrow with something fun I just discovered!

Happy routines!
xoxo Y

New blog find!

Just wanted to check in really quick and let you know I found a nice blog today while waiting for my mother in law to shop at Coldwater Creek. She's funny, godly, likes to sew, and has awesome cooking recipes.

Hope you like her place just as much as I did! :)

Happy browsing!

xoxo Y

The Smallest Blessings Thursday

Thanks for joining me for the Smallest Blessings Thursday this week! Where are you finding your small blessings? Are you looking for them or do they just pop up? This is the whole point of this meme- recognizing that we are given blessings, big and small, every single day of our lives, and giving thanks and praise to the Lord for them.

If you want to participate this week, just hop on over here to the see the rules. They're super easy and we all know each one of us has at least one small blessing to share!

This week, my smallest blessing is found in my grandmother's backyard. It's a record of our family on my maternal side. Two names have been added to the clan now, but in 2000, this is what our we looked like.

I love that my grandmother thought to capture a moment in such a childlike fashion, with no regard to formality and no worries of messing up her patio. A permanent snapshot in cement, this symbolizes how strong we are as a family.

Answering Your Questions: Round 2

Happy Earth Day 2009!

Here's the second part to "Getting to Know Me." And yes, that is little Southern Housewife in all her glorious 80's gear!

I know I didn't get to everyone's question but this round was pretty long and I got pretty wordy. I can't help it- I'm a talker. ;)

* What made you decide to become a homemaker?

My friend Kelly became a SAHM after her first child. She just up and quit and her job at a hospital and I was sort of confused by it. It really was the first time I had ever known of an actual homemaker. I don't think I even knew what the concept was! (Sad that I was already in my twenties.) I wasn't married at that point, so I sort of looked at it like a waste. Why would she want to do that? She went through school to work at a children's hospital and from what I could tell, she really enjoyed it. I just didn't get it.

And quite honestly, I didn't really start feeling differently until after I got married. I think God changes women's hearts after they get married. We suddenly stop thinking about what we can do for ourselves and start looking at what can we do for our family. He breathes into us the need to fulfill our calling as keepers of the home. We can all hear it. But most of us choose to ignore it in return for a promotion or a raise. We push it aside because we are liberated and went to college and dang it, we're going to use our degrees! Why waste a life trapped inside a home when I could be climbing the corporate ladder making my millions?

But I couldn't ignore it. So He kept nudging me gently. And I think He used Kelly to show me that I could have a different life- that it was possible to be home and still be fulfilled. So I began listening more closely about the things that she did- like cook dinner, clean her home, run errands, etc. And I don't know what changed in me, but I suddenly began wanting to do that. I still kept pushing it to the wayside though. Why in the world would I want to clean toilets all day? I hated cleaning! When I would get to thinking this way, God would do a bit more nudging and have Kelly tell me some story about her home life that made me start thinking about it again. Now keep in mind that Kelly and I had not talked about this previously. She still knew nothing of my budding desire to stay home.

And this cycle went on for a good while...

Southern Housewife: "I graduated and am loving my first job so far! Why would I want to ruin it by being home all day? What would I do?! I'd be so bored!"

God: *Nudge, nudge!*

Kelly: "Hey Jen! How was your day teaching? My day was good, too! Today I did x, y, and z. And Baby K is getting so big! You should see how she's started to roll over!"

Southern Housewife: "Aww, how cute Kel! Thanks for calling." ..... "Sounds like she has a pretty full day. I'm sure her husband really appreciates having her make dinner. And it sounds really fun to 'play house.' But I guess this would be real life 'playing house,' now wouldn't it? Gosh, it does seem fulfilling, but I just started teaching. We haven't even begun putting money away for a bigger house, and I really was wanting to start looking at new trucks soon...."

God: *Nudge, nudge!*

And it would start all over!

Meanwhile, teaching was taking it's toll on me. I was worn- physically and emotionally. I don't know if I can blame it all on work (although that was a huge part of it!) but 2005 was a huge year for me. I was planning my wedding while doing my last months of teaching residency at a low income school. I got married and went on our honeymoon in March, graduated from college in May, started building our first home while trying to look for my first teaching job during the summer, finally found a job in July, moved into our new home in August and started teaching. Whew! It was a crazy year and just caused so much stress (good and bad) that it really wore me down. I would come home from school literally crying. I couldn't take it. There was some backstabbing going on on my 5th grade team, and the principal was just not a fan of me. I had this one mother who was just horrible and would always call me up to chew me out the day before our major holidays just to make sure I had a crummy break, I kid you not! Lol. Anyway, during the middle of the school year, I was done. I knew that I wanted to be at home. I could see myself cleaning and cooking and gardening and I knew that is where I wanted to be. Why was I there dealing with stuff that

It really wasn't until that summer that I started reading about how this was just where God intended for women to be. He did not want women working- children or no children. And it just hit me square in the face. I didn't see it at the time, but God was nudging me to be right where he wanted me- HOME!

Let's think about something for a second. When did the country's morals start going down hill? When did kids start shooting up schools? When did gangs start taking over our communities? All of these things and more started happening because these were the children of the working women! Mothers were not home after school to make sure their children were not making bombs or planning to take a gun to school. They were there helping with homework, teaching manners, playing games with them- instilling morals that we so desperately need nowadays. See, we can't have it all. Something had to give and that was the family unit. When mothers started going to work, the family started falling apart. Why? Because God put us in charge of our families and we were failing. We decided to make more money, have a fancier career with a bigger and better title. I look at it as our ministry. This is what we were born to do. We were born to be our husband's helpmeet. We were born to tend to the house. It's in our God given nature. I cry for my former teacher friends who have to leave their babies in day care where they're raised by women who won't love them and are just there to get paid. I can see how it breaks them.

Well, I've said a mouthful, haven't I? I'm sure I rattled a few cages, but this is a homemaking blog after all, isn't it? And please know that just because I have this opinion does not mean that I think all working mothers out there are horrible, or less Christian, or raising gang members, because that just isn't true. We all have different lives and situations.

I know that there are single mothers out there struggling to make ends meet. I have a sister who is one of them. I know more than anything she'd love to be home when her child arrives after school. I know she hated that her baby had to attend day care until kindergarten. And I pray for her each and every day that she finds a good man- one who will take care of her and let her take care of him. We come from all walks of life and are all so very different. And God made us that way. He knows our situation- not me. So I never judge.

Who designed your blog? And where did you get that cute picture of you and Southern Hubby?

It's all me. :) I made and designed my own blog. If you need a rec for a good designer, I have a great friend that is awesome. I used to design headers, and may think about getting back into it again. Not too sure though. Oh, and the little picture of me and Southern Hubby on the top left hand side is from Designher Gals. Pretty cute site.

Happy Earth Day, y'all! Do something kind for your mama today!
xoxo Y

Answers to Your Homemaking Questions: Round 1

Hey girls! Thanks so much for your questions. Y'all are definitely giving me something to work for in this post! ;) The answers are pretty detailed, so I think I'm going to do this over a couple of posts, so thanks for being patient!

Most of them were about homemaking and the transition so I'm going to pick the broadest ones to answer. Hope this helps!

* What did you do before you became a housewife? Did you intend on being a housewife or SAHM eventually?

Honestly, no I didn't. I was raised with the feministic mindset instilled in me. I don't blame my mother. She came into adulthood in the 70's and it was all around her. She worked full time, so after school, we spent time with my grandmother. It was through her that I learned that there even were such things as homemakers. She was a homemaker all her life. I remember wondering why she was always ironing my grandfather's shirts, or serving him dinner. When I was growing up, she would tell me that I would have to do this when I had a husband. I smartly told her, "He'll have two feet of his own. He can do it himself!" I didn't understand why she did was she did.

It was known that right after high school, I would enter college. It wasn't even an option really. And I'm very thankful for that. I really think that even if I knew I wanted to be a homemaker, I would have gone to college. I know there are some women who don't think it's a useful experience, but I loved it. And I'm secure knowing that I have a degree that could get me a professional job if (heaven forbid) something happen to my husband. And I take great pride in that diploma hanging up in the office. I worked very hard to graduate with honors and I'm very proud of it.

Before I became a homemaker, I was a 5th grade teacher. I loved it. I did not, however, like the politics of it all. But the teaching part was awesome. I still miss my kiddos and am considering subbing every once in a while just to keep my teaching skills current.

* Do you plan on having children soon?

Eeesh. I was dreading answering this one, but I'm all about honesty here. So, no. We don't plan on having a child soon. And if I'm being even more honest, we are not quite sure that we would like to have a child. (Please no nasty comments, as this is something I do struggle with. They will be erased.) I know that children are a gift from God and bring joy to their parents, but I've never really been the motherly type. This wasn't something that just happened. I've always known this- probably since as early as 12 or 13 years.

And believe me. I struggle with this daily. Do I have a child now, even though we are not prepared for one? Would I resent the fact that I was forced to do something that had such a huge impact on my life? What if I turn 50 and suddenly realize that I want a child and it's too late? What happens when we're 80 years old and we have no one to take care of us? (In Hispanic culture, you take care of your elders until they die. It isn't often that a family would send them to a nursing home or senior community.) Does God hate me because I don't want to have a child just yet or maybe ever? All of these questions run through my mind daily. And the truth is, even after praying about them, I still don't know.

I do know that if we were to get pregnant, I would never even think of not having it. And I do know that I don't want to bring a child into this world just because it is expected of me. I often get scared, too, because of the kind of world we live in. I can't imagine how the state of our everyday lives will be when my child is 30, or 40. It makes me sad to think they would grow up in a world with greed abounding, no polar bears, constant war, global warming, no more room in landfills, etc. It just breaks my heart.

* How did the topic of you becoming a housewife come up with your husband?Was the transition difficult on your relationship? I'm a SAHM and it was rough for us at first for a while- he didn't really understand everything I did and I didn't give him enough credit for the ways he contributed.

I can honestly say that I lucked out when I found my husband. He truly is wonderful and is such a major blessing in my life. But he wasn't always as supportive. He was supportive in the sense that he wanted me to be happy. But he was worried about the money issue. He grew up in a divorced family and his mother worked hard her whole life. All he ever saw were women working full time. His mother was only able to throw a fast dinner together (which was better than my mother- we ate out or had fast food pretty much every night!) and he spent his after school time at babysitter after babysitter. Unfortunately, as a single mother, she had no option.

We sat down, looked at our income and budget without my teacher's salary to see if it would work. Thankfully it did, but I knew that it would mean drastic changes in our spending habits, and that meant A LOT less shopping for me. I was used to many perks and we liked to travel often. But, we also didn't spend much time together and I could tell we were already growing apart. I would come home, be grouchy, cranky, sad or all three. I didn't want to get off the couch much less cook dinner or spend time doing fun things. Weekends were our only time together and that was spent cleaning up our house and getting our life organized again. Needless to say, we couldn't last much longer this way. So, I resigned after my first year of teaching. I guess we sort of just jumped in head first!

Once my husband began seeing that we could make it on one income, he started feeling much better about the money side of things. And once he saw how much happier we were, it was a done deal. Then he began reading awesome books that told him that God put him in charge of providing for his family, no matter how small or large. It is his job to go work and provide and my job to help him and make his home a haven for him to return to. It's as simple as that. And God has put such a strong heart in my husband. He takes on his role as provider and head of the house in such a way that makes me so proud of him. I know it's not easy. I know sometimes he gets stressed out. I can't imagine having the weight of my family's world resting square on my shoulders. But I know that God made men and women very different. And he equipped them to handle these pressures as long as they seek His guidance and ask for Him to give them strength.

* Are any of your friends housewives?

Yes! In my closest group of girlfriends, we all stay home by the grace of God. I am the only one without children though. I do have a couple of homemaker friends without children but I'm not as close to them.

It's so nice to have that support system and to be with like-minded women who know your struggles and understand why you gave up what you did. We're all about women being home! :) We try to get together every once in a while to do lunch or craft and catch up. It definitely helps to get some adult interaction time, otherwise, I think I'd go nuts!

***********************

Alrightly gals, that's it for today. I'll be back with the rest of the questions tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday! Tomorrow is Earth Day and I love celebrating mama Earth! Yay!

Happy Earth Day Eve! ;)

xoxo Y

Making Your Home a Haven: Setting a Wake Up Time

Hello ladies! Thanks so much for joining me for a new week of homemaking, crafting, cooking, and regular southern chit chat. :) I'm so happy that I got some great questions this weekend! I have begun writing up my answers and since there are plenty of questions and my answers are are so thorough, I will have to break them up into two posts over the week, with the first post being tomorrow. Last night I prayed that my blog would be used to help those who needed guidance in becoming homemakers. Southern Hubby and I both prayed that He would open your hearts and minds to answer His calling to be in the homes. I sincerely wish that my answers are helpful to those who asked or to those who did quite know what to ask or how to ask. And I prayed once more that my words touched women who maybe had never even considered being homemakers.

I really feel there is a waking up of women around the country. Working mothers are talking to homemakers and the buzz is spreading. There are too many children being raised in day cares. There are too many homes in chaos and frenzy (how many times have you seen those shows on Oprah where she sends in a team to clean up disgusting houses? Those homes belong to working women, folks! They aren't homemakers, that's for sure!) Our children are become obese because mothers are relying on fast foods to feed their children. They are too tired to come home and cook a decent meal. And I don't blame them- I know how it feels. When I worked full time, the last thing I wanted to do was cook for SH and I.

I can feel that women are realizing that somethings wrong with the the way their families are functioning. Slowly but surely, they are realizing that they were lied to. But so often they feel trapped. They need those two incomes. She has to work. Well, people lived on one income for decades. Did they have cable TV, McMansions, BMWs, cell phones for each family member, appointments for nails, fancy laptops, TV sets in every bedroom? No. They didn't. Sometimes luxuries aren't possible. But the women were home and the country was better because of it! God bless those women of the 50's who made do with what they had!

OK, enough about that. I could write on and on but I'll save it for tomorrow. :) On to Making Your Home a Haven Mondays!

This week, Tammy challenges us to, "decide what wake-up time would serve you and your family the best."

For us, I think 6:30am would be ideal. Doing so would give me enough time to peaceful spend some time in the Word and prayer as well as allow me to make Southern Hubby's lunch and get all his vitamins ready. When he gets us, so do the puppers, so I must take them out to potty, feed them their breakfast and dole out any medication Mattie might be on.

I'm not rushing, and my heart is in the right place because I started it with Him. I'm ready to bless my home and little family!

I so love these challenges! If you want to join Tammy and the rest of the girls, head on over to her blog. I'll see you gals tomorrow!

Happy sweet, beautiful Monday! The sun is shining and the birds are chirping in my neck of the woods! Are they in yours?

xoxo Y

PS. How are you liking the mini-face lift I gave my little place over the weekend? I'm lovin' the new changes!

PPS. Please take a look at the extraordinary faith my new friend, Becky has. Her comment today put tears in my eyes. I haven't met a women of such faith in a very long time. Becky, you are amazing!

Getting to know me. Getting to know all about me.

I hope everyone is have an as relaxing Saturday as I am. Well, actually, it started off bumpy. We woke up around 7:45am to Mattie throwing up all over our bed. Poor baby. Then we see him itching for about 10 minutes straight. I knew we had to get him to a vet before he scratched it raw. Our regular vet was booked so we ended up finding one not too far away thankfully. It turned out to be major allergies and after a cortisone shot his flares calmed down. The poor guy has been through so much in the past couple weeks. I hope his life starts to calm down so he can feel more secure and loved.

Anyway, I normally am not a big weekend poster, but my inbox has been flooded with all kinds of questions, most of them having to do with homemaking and the transition from being a full time worker to housewife. I've gotten more emails in the past week than I've probably ever gotten. So, I figured instead of answering them individually, which I probably wouldn't be able to do, I'd open up the floor. I'll pick a couple of good questions and answer them for all to read.

If you were one of the ones that sent a question, please re-submit it in a comment so I can keep track of all of them. Thanks so much! I look forward to answering them! :)

Happy Saturday!
xoxo Y

The Smallest Blessings Thursday

Thanks for joining me for the Smallest Blessings Thursday! Are you noticing how easy it is becoming to spot the small blessings now that you know they're out there and are looking for them? This is the whole point of this meme- recognizing that we are given blessings, big and small, every single day of our lives, and giving thanks and praise to the Lord for them.

If you want to participate this week, just hop on over here to the see the rules. They're super easy and we all know each one of us has at least one small blessing to share!

This week, my smallest blessing is the fact that my Southern Hubby comes home to me each night! He doesn't want to go to a bar after work to drown his sorrows; he doesn't want to go gambling, or another woman's house, or anywhere else. He wants to come home! Praise God that I have a wonderful husband who wants to take off his shoes at our house each night. I know there are some women out there who don't get this luxury. And for that, I'm so thankful.



Update: Try as I might, I did not want to post about the tea parties that have been happening around the country. I told myself that I would stay out of posting about politics after the election but I can't keep my big mouth shut about this one because it angers me so much and I feel the great need to defend our poor President Obama.

The new president is only cleaning up after the last 8 years of rotten leadership and spending we have been forced to go through. I don't even want to know how much this horrible and stupid war is costing us. We are trillions of dollars in debt because of Mr. Bush, and this with Clinton actually leaving us a surplus when he left! (http://tiny.cc/7swJe) I truly hope that Obama does not get persecuted because he cannot clean up the economy in 4 short years when it took Bush double that to get us into it!

Ok, got it out of my system. And whether you believe it or not, I do consider myself conservative on many issues, lol! Agree or disagree, we all have the right to freedom of speech, and I expect that my very conservative readers will exercise that right in the comments section today! ;) So, have at it gals!

I'm Having an Affair. Are You? Part Two: Family, Fantasy, and Screen

Yesterday we talked about three possible things that could be keeping you from having the marriage that you want- a marriage that is blessed by the Lord and one that brings him pleasure.

Unfortunately, researchers have identified a couple more. And with new technology and the American mentality of bigger, better and more, I'm sure there are going to be a whole new crop of 'affairs' in the years to come. Let's take a closer look at the final three.

4. Family Affair- A while back, I touched on the subject of loving your husband more than your children. And consequently, putting him before them always. Yep, you heard me right- before your children. And that is a biblical principal that most mothers do not know. Do not allow your house to become "child-centered." Your children are not idols for you to worship.

"...Discipline your son and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart." Proverbs 29:17

If your children are your life, you will lose that connection with your husband. If all you have to contribute to the dinner conversation is nothing but, "Guess what Jimmy did today!" or "Sarah and I went to the park, then the zoo, then we had lunch..." he may seek excitement elsewhere.

God blessed you with children and they will bring your life joy, but they should not be the your only source of joy and contentment. Having a Christ centered marriage full of compassion, romance, spontaneity, laughter and fun will bring you insurmountable joy. And the only way to have this is to put time and effort into it. A good marriage just doesn't happen. And if you are giving all of your love and energy to your children, what is there left for your husband. You will tear down your marriage and your house if you love your children more than your husband.

5. Screen Affairs- This is the one affair I am most guilty of. If you were to get a glimpse of a regular date night with me and Southern Hubby, you would see us at dinner, and me most likely answering emails on my blackberry. I'm not a CEO of a multi billion dollar company. I'm not a doctor. My emails are not so important that I have to ignore my husband while we are trying to have a nice dinner. More than likely it's my sister asking me a question or being silly. I can talk to her later on and should be focusing on spending time with SH.

I have a major problem to this. I am a self-proclaimed blackberry addict. I can't put it down. I sleep with it on my bedside. If I forget it while running errands, I have to turn around and go back home to get it. It really is quite insane. I've decided to start asking God to help me with this addiction, which is really is. When I put my blackberry in front of a relationship with my husband, I am heading down a very dangerous and self destructive path. In fact, SH has specifically told me that I am not to be on it at nights. We have decided to set aside a "blackberry free zone" in the evenings. I will continue to work on this.

But for others, it may not be a PDA phone. It could be the Internet, or the TV. I know there are husbands that can spend hours upon hours on video games. I can't imagine the way a wife would feel knowing that her husband is making a violent or graphic video game a bigger priority than spending time with her. We all need to be aware of the amount of time we are spending in front of screens, whatever they may be on.

6. Fantasy Affairs- The affairs can include pornography or romance novels.

I'm sure most of you have heard about the obsession that is Twilight. :) My little sister told me I just had to read them- they were sooo romantic. So, I borrowed hers and read the first two books....in a weekend. And these books are 400+ pages long. Needless to say, no hubby bonding time was had that weekend. I devoured them. They were so romantic and I loved falling into the fantasy of a love that perfect.

It wasn't long before I was comparing Southern Hubby to Edward, the fictional vampire. Edward was so passionate and romantic and his only heart's desire is to love Bella. They cannot live without each other. The love between them is just so intense- any woman would fall for Edward. And I did. And I wanted SH to be just like him. And when he wasn't, he failed in my eyes. Yes, SH, the man who makes me Easter baskets every year (this year's was filled with candles, lip gloss, magazines, my favorite candy and a gift certificate for a massage!), the man who kills scary spiders for me, the man who tucks me and brings me my vitamins each night because he wants me healthy, the man who has always opened car doors for me and plays board games with my niece had become a failure as a husband. How unfair and selfish was I being? SH is real life. Edward is fiction. And I forced myself to realize it.

And when I did, I decided that I wouldn't finish the last two books. It would be too tempting to fall back into the trap of something that wasn't real, and why make my husband feel inferior to a fictional character?! So, I stopped reading those books. I didn't see the movie. I stopped buying into the fantasy of a perfect love and came back to the reality of the love that I did have. Sure it's not a romance novel 24/7, but SH is my Edward. And he's all I need. :)

So why do we get tempted into these addictions? What makes us get drawn to something we know is leading us down an ungodly path? We can put the blame right smack on us- on the culture we live in that seduces us into believing that we deserve complete fulfillment and perfect happiness. TV commercials tell us all the time, "You can have it all!" Movies show us the sort of life we could have if we were richer, prettier and funnier. And thus, we develop an improper perception of reality. We compare our expectations and fantasies to real life.

And when we finally begin to wonder why our lives are changing for the worse, we question our reality- never our fantasies. Since extramarital affairs are considered escapes from reality, we need to look within our marriages to see what it is that we are trying to escape from.

When couples fail to grasp God's perspective on difficulties and problems, the result is isolation. And isolation leads to divorce. From there we need to start putting the focus back on God. Ask Him to tell you what you are doing wrong. Ask Him to bless you with the right answers and to lead you away from those that are trying to harm you and your relationship. Pray for strength, because it will be hard. You will need His guidance and his favor.

Putting Christ first in your marriage is the only way you can affair proof your relationship with your husband. He needs to be involved. He needs to be who you turn to when you are having problems in your marriage, not the Internet, not your children, not your job. Him. Escaping from your problems does no good, only harm. Inviting Him to actively participate in your marriage guarantees that you, as a couple, will be blessed with a real and true love story better than any romance novel on shelves today! And that's a promise! :)

Here's to having happy affair-proof marriages!

xoxo Y

I'm having an affair. Are you? Part One: Activities, Materialism, & Career

Yesterday's post seemed to hit a bit of a nerve with a few of you wives out there. But, admission is the first step, so be proud of yourself!

I didn't want to. I fought it, put it off, said that I would change- that I could change. But I didn't. It devoured me until I became involved in a full blown affair.

No, I've never cheated physically or emotionally on Southern Hubby. I was having one of the many types of extramarital affairs that are threatening today's marriage that don't fall under that traditional "physical love affair" The ones that have been identified are:

A. activity/hobbies affair- These affairs happen when your hobbies and activities take a lot of the focus off you and your husband. You do not need to go out for happy hour with the girls every Friday. I'm sure your husband would love to spend a romantic Friday night with you. And I'm sure that night for him does not include you stumbling through the door, slurring your words, reeking of cigarette smoke on your clothes and vodka on your breath. That doesn't paint the picture of a very becoming lady, now does it?

And this can also involve things that may really virtuous and pleasing to the Lord. For example, volunteering and participating in church activities. But when they occupy the majority of your thoughts, stress you out, and keep you away from your duties at home, then it's time to take a step back and reevaluate all of your obligations. Your first obligations should be to God and then your husband.

B. materialism affair- I've been involved in this affair before many times. The beautiful new clothes that hang on the models, the smell of new driving moccasins, the sparkle in those diamond earrings, all of these things can occupy a wife's mind, leaving no room for the Lord or her husband. Flipping through pages and pages of catalogs, or online shopping for hours and time takes away from time would could be spending playing a board game with your hubby.

Wishing you had things that you don't not only wastes your time, but it can also make your husband feel like he is not providing for you. Of all the things a wife can do to her husband, not showing him respect, or making him feel inadequate is by far the worst.

C. career affair- If you are a homemaker, than this should never be an issue for you. But you are still working in a career, please do get into an affair with your job. No one needs you more than your husband. Those faxes can wait until morning. Does that email really need to be sent? Will the world come to a screeching halt if you aren't fully prepared for that presentation? No. But will your marriage suffer and maybe even die because you are constantly putting these things ahead of your man? Yes. Yes, it certainly can.

If this sounds like you, I urge you pray and thinking about the reasons you are working. For me, it was money. I wanted to travel and spend and buy and me, me, me. We didn't need my teacher's salary to live comfortably. We're doing fine right now. Can I shop at J.Crew every weekend like I used to? No. Can we take 2-3 trips each year anymore? No. But I'm secure in knowing that I'm right where God wants me to be- in my home, serving my wonderful husband and creating a welcoming environment for us to live in.

Tomorrow, I'll pick up with that last three types of affairs that can affect your relationship with your husband. And we'll also look a little bit into why these affairs happen. So, meet me back here manana! Same time, same place. :)

Happy holding on to your hubbies!!

xoxo Y

Making Your Home a Haven Mondays- Setting a Bedtime Routine

Happy Monday, y'all! I feel so thankful today for God's provisions, especially new beginnings. I have been so bogged down with obligations outside of the house that I feel that I've let some things slip. I may be absent some time this week as I try to get my priorities straightened out.

The challenge for this week over at Tammy's place is to set up an evening routine. Since I sort of jumped ahead and posted one when she had us set a bedtime, I'm going to re-post those and make any necessary changes to those.

The Southern Housewife's Nightly Routine:

• After dinner, clean up the kitchen, sweeping the floor, disinfecting the counters, rinsing and putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, and making sure my sink is empty and shiny! How nice is it to wake up each morning to an gleaming sink and empty counters?!
• Do a quick 15 minute clean up. (pick up clutter, arrange sofa pillows, clear the kitchen bar aka catch all for mail, keys, purse, misc., empty replacing, etc.)
• Feed the babies and give out meds if necessary.
• Change into pajamas.
• Do my nightly face regimen and brush teeth.
• Take my vitamins and any medications.
• Read over my schedule for tomorrow. Write down any special errands or chores that need to be done.
• Praying with Southern Hubby. Lately we've been reading Moments with You by Barbara and Dennis Rainey from FamilyLife, which y'all know I love with a capital L!
• Snuggle up with the Southern Puppies and get some beauty rest!

Recently, SH and I have been reading about extra marital affairs, but not the kind that you may be thinking about. The ones I am referring to are "screen affairs." We first heard about this at our Weekend to Remember conference back in February. How hard those words hit me! I always thought I was a faithful wife. I never cheated on SH with any man ever! But I was cheating him out of my time with my blackberry and my computer.

So we decided that at night, we need to put away the blackberries and the Internet. If SH is working, then I can get on and play around, but the night time needs to be just for us. I was so caught up in reading homemaking blogs and writing my own, that it became something that was taking me away from the very thing I was trying to work on a promote- marriage! How ironic.

Are you having any 'screen affairs?' It doesn't just have to be phones or computers. Are TVs, and video games keeping you away from spending time with the family at night? It's different for everyone. This week, challenge yourself to turn off the screens at night!

Happy Haven Mondays!

xoxo Y

PS- I wanted to say THANK YOU so much from the bottom of heart for all the sweet and kind words about our new family addition. You really have no idea how much they mean to me and it brought tears to my eyes to see how much of you out there really care about animals. They are God's creatures too, after all. Without further ado, here he is, the newest Southern- Mattie!

My Homemaking Links

These are the links that I love to frequent for help with anything- laundry, budgets, organization, or meals! So grab a cup of sweet tea, sit on the porch and settle in for some good reading!

xoxo,

The Southern Housewife

Heart for Home

A Christian Home

The Martha Blog

The Proverbs 31 Woman

The Urban Homemaker

Creative Homemaking

Ladies Against Feminism

Christian Homemaking

A Woman's Place

Homemaker's Magazine

The Family Homestead

Laine's Letters

Deacon's Wife

The Priceless Woman

Simply Homemaking

Little Country Village

Homemakers By Choice

The Smallest Blessings Thursday

Thanks for joining me for the second Smallest Blessings Thursday! Are you noticing how easy it is becoming to spot the small blessings now that you know they're out there and are looking for them? This is the whole point of this meme- recognizing that we are given blessings, big and small, every single day of our lives, and giving thanks and praise to the Lord for them.

If you want to participate this week, just hop on over here to the see the rules. They're super easy and we all know each one of us has at least one small blessing to share!

I love this look my sister L is giving to my niece. This look is my smallest blessing today. That look, while not always rare, only happens in the home, around family and friends. It's a look of security, confidence and pure joy.

It happened when I used to talk to my sissy in our 'secret language,' being absolute certain no adult understood us. It happened when I used sit and chat with my mama when she was cooking. It happened when my sissy S and I got in a huge baby powder fight one Saturday afternoon. It happened when my daddy would tell us a super corny joke and laugh at himself in pride.

And now that I'm grown and creating a family of my own, you can still find that look here. I spotted it when I caught this shot on my baby sister's 18th birthday. (Can I still call her my baby sister when she's 18 and will be a college freshman in the fall? And I saw it again later that night when we were playing games at the dining room table. Oh, and one more time when daddy told that same corny joke. Thank you Lord for daddy's corny jokes. ;)

Happy Small Blessing Thursdays, y'all!
xoxo Y

New Member of the Southern Family

This past Saturday, Southern Hubby and I went to our volunteer orientation to start volunteering at our local SPCA. I should have known that I could not have left there without saving a baby. I should have known this. But I thought I would be a bit stronger. After all, I plan on volunteering weekly and I can't leave with a baby every time! But when we went on the tour of the facilities, a nervous white ball of cotton in the far corner caught my eye. As I got closer, through the tears forming in my eyes, I saw a small, weak Maltese with the face of my baby Jackson (Southern Puppy.) I looked closer and he was terrified so much that he was shaking uncontrollably. SH came up behind me and the poor baby turned to face the wall. He was too scared to even look us in the eye. Right then and there, I knew I had to bring him home. It was obvious this baby had never seen love before.

I didn't really pay too much attention to the rest of the tour, as all I could think about was the baby I left behind. As soon as the orientation was over, I made a bee-line straight to him. We asked to be taken to a private room so we could get to know him a bit better. He was still scared and shaking, but after about 15 minutes, he was able to relax in my arms. The SPCA worker confirmed that he was part of the Arkansas puppy mill raid that happened on March 25th. This baby was rescued from horrific conditions. He never knew life outside his crate (which we came to confirm later as we walks very wobbly due to atrophied leg muscles), was abused, matted badly with feces, fleas and ticks, and was only used as a breeding machine to turn out more and more puppies to sell at ridiculously high prices. These babies are living in squalor and the breeders only think about the almighty dollar.

He is still scared of our touch but is warming up to us. You can tell he has had to share and/or fight for his food all his life as it takes him a while to eat. He has to check the area out first many times to make sure no one scary is around. SH tried to feed him in a bowl the first time and he had no idea what to do with it. However, we put some food on the ground, and he knew it was time to eat. Looks like he'd only eaten from the floor. The stairs on our patio are very hard for him to navigate as his legs are skinny and weak and he doesn't know how they work. He would fall off them without our help. He feels safer in the warm crate we gave him and filled with soft blankets and what is becoming his favorite toy- his little moo cow. :) He's starting to warm up to us and sleeps with us (two adults + 2 puppers = one crowded bed!) and doesn't always flinch when we try to pet him.

Here are a couple of articles from the raid. I can't even imagine someone letting helpless babies live in conditions like these. Pray that these greedy heartless people are prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Article One

Article Two

Click here for the SPCA's picture of the actual raid. About 140 puppies were given to Texas shelters.

Please pray that this little baby will open up to us and realize that we are only here to love him and not mistreat him like he was used to in his previous life. He's such a sweet little angel and will fit in well once he knows he can trust us.

And to those who may not know this, PLEASE DO NOT BUY DOGS FROM BREEDERS, INTERNET STORES, MALL PET STORES, FLEA MARKETS! You are just making those people who mistreat dogs prosperous and are giving them a reason to keep abusing these poor animals. These are the conditions that cute little baby is coming from. Don't let the breeders fool you. This is how they really live.

If you are considering buying a new baby, here are some tips.

Thanks for listening to me rant. Y'all know how passionate I am about animal rights and it just breaks my heart to see people buying sweet babies from these kind of backyard breeders, and they aren't made aware of what kind of operation their money is going to. You can get a pure bred puppy just as easily in an adoption shelter. Ours is pure bred Maltese. :)

PS- He still needs a name!!! We decided not to keep his previous name, Arkansas #61 (how sad is that?!). Any suggestions are welcome!!!

Happy, healthy, safe and LOVED puppies to all!

xoxo Y

Final Week! : 21 Days to Becoming an Effective Wife

That was it girls! Your last week to make those habits and goals you planed for yourself stick!. How did every one do? Take this opportunity to write what you took away from this. What things did you learn? What stuck? Did you plan a goal that ended up not being the best idea?

I can't wait to read everyone's results!

My results:

I learned a lot in these past three weeks about how I handle the things that I'd like to get done. I learned that I like to procrastinate. I learned that putting things off isn't always the best idea. I learned that snuggling on the couch with your dog and hubby, even when you have a sink full of empty dishes is okay. I learned that getting up and spending time with Him in His word is the BEST way to start my day and make sure that I am productive. I learned that remembering the scripture verses I read each morning give me motivation to be a better wife.

The main thing I walked away with in this challenge is how important getting up early is. I had been slacking since our Mexico trip and am very happy to get back into the swing of things. Thanks so much for participating and I'll be hopping over to your page soon!

Happy Monday, folks!

xoxo Y

PS- I was soooo happy to see such enthusiasm for thursday's, The Smallest Blessings meme. I can't wait for next week's! Be on the look out for those small things you are thankful for each day and be sure to join us again this week!

Here we go.... the smallest blessings!

After work, Southern Hubby was outside doing some gardening and I spotted his hands- his strong, working hands that provide for me as his wife. I am so blessed by his simple hands. They don't have gaudy diamonds on them. They don't have intricate tattoos, or a gold ring on each finger. But they're mine and they're perfect as they are.

It is amazing and powerful what those hands accomplish. They hold mine tightly when I get scared taking off on plane rides. They bring me my nightly vitamins every day. They envelop my hands when we are praying in church. They tuck me in at night. They hold my face tenderly when he kisses me. And for this and more, I'm so blessed.

Happy gracious and praiseful wives!!! Thanks so much for participating in our first Smallest Blessings Meme! Yay!

xoxo Y

The Smallest Blessings

What a wonderful response I had for this meme! I'm so excited because, unlike Crafty Tuesdays, we can all participate on this one. Who doesn't have something to be thankful for? For those who were sad to see CT go, I'd LOVE to see what you did! Email me with a picture! I'm all about all things crafty so let me know what you're still up to. I will still be doing posts on crafts, it will just have to not be in meme form.

And let's try Thursdays and see what we get. I know there are some really good Thursday memes but as I went through the days of the week, something good is on every day! If this doesn't work out, we can talk about moving the date. On with the show...

The simple rules:

1. Post one picture that displays a small blessing in your life. It can be the bee that pollinates your garden to the swept up dirt pile on your floor (because that means you have floor to sweep!) Whatever you see as a small blessing, the rest of us might be able to relate.

I'm eager to see what people come up with, because heaven knows we all need the reminder that all blessings don't have to be big. Some are very simple but found in everyday life. It's easy to see the blessings in the big things, but how often does your husband get a raise, your daughter win a spelling be, or you win a free bag of groceries when you were already down to your last dime? When miracles like those happen, we are down on our knees with praise and gratitude to the Lord. But how often do we get down on our knees for sounds of your husband snoring at night, or fleece blanket that keeps your warm on the couch? The little, everyday things are worthy of praise and prayer, too.

2. Give a short (or long if you wish!) note on why your are thankful for this blessing. What does it mean to you and how does it apply to your life?

3. Link up here to Mr. Linky and make sure your link goes to your Smallest Blessing post, not your blog address. ( To do this, you must click on the timestamp of your post, after posting it. That will take you to another page with the full address- your blog + your blog post entry.)

4. Insert this banner into your post with a link back to my post hosting that day's Smallest Blessing. I've also included button you can put on your sidebars to spread the word around and let others know you are a participant.

I've given you two options for your button. One is a member button, and one is a regular button. Use whichever you'd like! :)

I'll be back tomorrow morning with my first Smallest Blessing post. I actually just took a picture of it. As soon as I saw it, I knew it would be perfect! See y'all tomorrow!

Happy blessings to you all!

xoxo Y