Some people call him Lucifer, Satan, the Devil, and the list goes on. I don't know what he calls himself, or if it even a he an it or a thing. But I do know that there is evil out there. And they most certainly have a boss.
I contemplated about whether or not to tell this little story. It involves some details about an argument Southern Husband and I had this week. I like to bite my tongue if the opportunity to speak badly about my husband arises. What sort of wife would I be if I was always complaining and putting down my husband in front of others? And quite frankly, these days I rarely have anything to speak ill of. SH is just about close to a perfect husband and any man could get. :) (I'm lucky, I know.) But, like every married couple, there are going to be fights. So, I prayed about it and asked God what he thought I should do. And I really felt that the lesson in here outweighed any negativity that may be said- especially since it was a happy ending.
As I told you previously, we just started attending a Fireproof Marriage series at church. I had signed us up several weeks ago and was really looking forward to it. I kept reminding SH about it, hoping he'd put it in his Blackberry calendar. We started this past Tuesday and I remember last mentioning it to him on Sunday. So Tuesday night comes and as I sat in the bathroom refreshing my make up and waiting for him, I looked at my watch and realized SH was running late. The class started at 7:30pm and the church is in a town about 35 minutes from us. I wanted to leave plenty of time to get there because if there is one thing I hate, it's rushing somewhere.
He finally arrives around 6:45ish. I figure we still have time, so I'm fine. We chat for a bit while I finish up putting on my jewelery and fixing my hair. I ask him if he's ready to get going and he says"For what?" I sourly remind him of the church class, and he does one of those deep groans a 7 year old does when he's asked to take a bath.
And that was all it took.
I immediately went into silent treatment mode and told him I didn't want to go to a marriage class when only half of the married couple really wants to go and the other is dreading it. So, he starts explaining that he didn't really mean the groan in that way. He had forgotten that the class was that night and had it already in his head that he was going to come home and relax and finish up a bathroom project he was anxious to get done. He just sort of felt irritated that his plans were changed at the last minute. I know the feeling he's talking about.
Let me tell y'all, that explanation made it worse. Trying to make him feel even more guilty, I put up the, "I'm not going now" stubborn wife fight. He manages to coax me into the car and we head off with not a minute to spare. Eighty percent of the 35 minute ride over there was ridden in pure silence. The other twenty were filled with me giving him a piece of my mind and him serving the volley right back. I knew there was no way we could enter the Lord's house in that frame of mind, not to mention a marriage seminar! The irony of it all never left the back of my mind. But I wouldn't give in. I couldn't. I knew I was right. I knew he was wrong. No amount of his apologies could make me come out of that bitterness.
Finally we pull up to church in stone cold silence.
He parked our car and immediately grabbed my hand sweetly and turned to face me. He apologized for forgetting and promised me that his forgetfulness in no way reflected how he felt about the actual class. His groan was not one for being upset that he was going nor did it mean his night was ruined. It was just a a last minute change of the plans he had anticipated for his night.
And right there in that church parking lot, I gave up my anger. I forgave him and I let the frustration inside of me release. For some reason, I just let it go completely. He kissed my hand and that was it. We headed into class perfectly happy and ready to learn. It literally ended just as quickly as it had started.
I realized that something just wasn't right with that coincidence. It only took one second for my mood to change from pure contentment to supreme anger and then back again. It was a puzzling feeling but immediately I knew what happened. There was something that did not want us to go to that class. And it most certainly did not want us to learn anything there. The longer we stayed mad at each other, the madder we get, and the less we'd pay attention in a very important class.
*And then it clicked.*
I shook my head and just sort of chuckled. The man of many names did not want us to be there. He's not happy about how much stronger our marriage has been since we gotten back into church, since we've been still in that giddy teenage love after the Family Life's Weekend to Remember, and since we've surrounded ourselves with people who could only strengthen that bond between us and God. He doesn't want to lose me. And he's throwing out his best. He saw his big opportunity in SH's lateness and played me like a fiddle. Once I resigned myself to wanting to be in that angry mood, I was putty in his hands. He knew he had me. And he knew he had SH.
That is until we pulled in and saw the church. And my sweet Lord (I love that song.) was there waiting for us. One look at that church, the church I had never seen before, and my heart lighten. I easily and eagerly received his apology and we moved on with he rest of the night. If you could fast forward a year back, you'd see that that was not like me at all. I held bitterness tightly in my hands. I didn't hand out forgiveness. You had to earn it.
Ive become such a different person in this past year or so because I make time in my schedule for Him. Sometimes I even surprise myself at the way I act. I incorporate Him in to the majority of my day and our world and little family has grown and benefited greatly because of it.
I don't think "the Devil" knew just how strong we really are. Or how powerful God is at changing the attitudes and hearts of married couples. And I think God did this to us on purpose. We needed to go through that fight because things were getting just a bit too disgustingly, nauseatingly cute around here and we needed reminding that there is something out in this world that wants to tear us apart. Outside of the bubble of our church, friends, and family, everything is set to make us fail. So God is always vigilant, but he needs us to be diligent and faithful.
But I don't worry much. Eventually, we'll get lured back into the Devil's game and when we do, I know my sweet Lord will be there to lift us out of it again.
Happy Friday, y'all!
xoxo Y
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