I'm having an affair: Part 1

This is the first of a two part series I wrote a couple years back. I revisited it for my post over at At the Well: Titus 2. You can find me there today as well. This post was gleaned from the notes I took at the Family Life Weekend to Remember conference. I hope you find it as informative and eye-opening as I did. :)
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Let me preface this by saying, no, I’ve never cheated physically or emotionally on Southern Hubby. I was having one of the many types of extramarital affairs threatening today’s marriage that don’t fall under that traditional “physical love affair.” However, they are just as detrimental to a marriage as a physical or emotional affair. The ones that have been identified are:

A. Activity/Hobbies Affair: These affairs happen when your hobbies and activities take a lot of the focus off you and your husband. Book clubs, knitting, sewing, and quilting circles all are good things, and deserve merit. But do they take up too much of your time?
 

This type of affair can also involve things that are in fact virtuous and pleasing to the Lord. For example, volunteering and participating in church activities are wonderful and can breathe life into you spiritually. But when they occupy the majority of your thoughts, stress you out, and keep you away from your duties at home, then it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate all of your obligations. Your first obligations should be to God and then your husband.

B. Materialism Affair: I’ve been involved in this affair many times. The beautiful new clothes that hang in the windows, the smell of new shoes (my weakness!), the sparkle in those diamond earrings– all of these things can occupy a wife’s mind, leaving no room for the Lord or her husband. Flipping through pages and pages of catalogs, or online shopping for hours takes away from time you could spend be spending with your husband.

Wishing you had things that you don’t not only wastes your time, but it can also make your husband feel like he is not providing for you. Of all the things a wife can do to her husband, not showing him respect or making him feel inadequate is by far the worst.

In the consumer world we live in, it is very easy to fall into this trap. Don’t let yourself be fooled. It is not the things that surround us that make us happy, but the people that love us.

C. Career Affair- {{This issue can be very tricky in today's world because so many women do in fact work and have careers outside the home. I don't mean to hurt feelings, so please keep in mind that these are just my personal beliefs.}}

If you are a homemaker, this shouldn't be an issue for you. If you are still working outside your home, please do not get into an affair with your job. No one needs you more than your husband. Those faxes can wait until morning. Does that email need to be sent right now? No. But will your marriage suffer because you are constantly putting these things ahead of your man? Absolutely.

If this sounds like you, I urge you to pray and think about the reasons you are working. For me, it was the luxuries the extra money afforded us. I wanted to travel and spend and buy and me, me, me. We didn’t need my teacher’s salary to live comfortably. We’re doing fine right now. Can I shop every weekend like I used to? No. Can we take 2-3 trips each year anymore? No. But I’m secure in knowing that I’m right where God wants me to be: in my home, serving my wonderful husband, and creating a welcoming environment for us to live in. To me, that’s worth more than anything I could buy.

In the next part of the series, I’ll pick up with three more types of affairs that can affect your relationship with your husband. And we’ll also look a little bit into why these affairs happen.

Hope you have a great rest of the week!