India.

After several months of praying and asking God for guidance, Southern Hubby and I have decided to forgo our yearly vacation and accompany our church on a mission trip to Karimnagar, India this October.

I'm terrified.

I've been to India before on one of SH's business trips. I was there a week; he was there a month. The experience changed me and I was never so homesick in my life. The country if full of a gorgeous culture and a generous people, but it's not America. I've seen firsthand the depravity and overwhelming poverty there.

Our five star hotel sat directly across from a posh country club. It also sat next to one of the biggest piles of garbage I've ever seen. Looking outside of my hotel room, I could see tents on top of the "landfill" and children playing and running barefoot.
 
Upon coming back, I often questioned why we are so abundantly blessed when the majority of others do not have access to food, clean water, education, adequate housing, etc. Why us? After many years of searching, God finally answered me- He wants us to share what He has so generously given us. Everything we have is not ours to keep.
 
Which is why we have to go. Even though I'm scared. Even though my stomach turns at the thought of the vaccines. Even though we need to raise $5000 to give to our missionary budget for flights, food, and hostel. We have to go. I have to give of myself to others that need it so much.
 
The picture above is of the 75+ fundraising letters we wrote and sent out. We don't plan on raising the full amount, so whatever is left over will come out of our 2011 vacation budget. Am I sad I don't get to spend a week on the beach sipping pina coladas and tanning? If I'm being honest, then yes. Very much so. But, even as scared as I am, I'm looking forward to connecting with the children in the orphanage we're working at. And I'm so fortunate to have the chance to leave a piece of my heart there- the very same one that God is still working on and changing.
 

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." -Ephesians 2:10

PS. To those who are getting one of our letters, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your willingness to learn more about our mission and to help, either financially, with prayer, or both. I know we could not have done this without your love and support. xo

PPS. Dont forget to enter my prayer journal giveway. Winners announced next Monday!

I'm having an affair: Part 1

This is the first of a two part series I wrote a couple years back. I revisited it for my post over at At the Well: Titus 2. You can find me there today as well. This post was gleaned from the notes I took at the Family Life Weekend to Remember conference. I hope you find it as informative and eye-opening as I did. :)
                           ***********
 

Let me preface this by saying, no, I’ve never cheated physically or emotionally on Southern Hubby. I was having one of the many types of extramarital affairs threatening today’s marriage that don’t fall under that traditional “physical love affair.” However, they are just as detrimental to a marriage as a physical or emotional affair. The ones that have been identified are:

A. Activity/Hobbies Affair: These affairs happen when your hobbies and activities take a lot of the focus off you and your husband. Book clubs, knitting, sewing, and quilting circles all are good things, and deserve merit. But do they take up too much of your time?
 

This type of affair can also involve things that are in fact virtuous and pleasing to the Lord. For example, volunteering and participating in church activities are wonderful and can breathe life into you spiritually. But when they occupy the majority of your thoughts, stress you out, and keep you away from your duties at home, then it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate all of your obligations. Your first obligations should be to God and then your husband.

B. Materialism Affair: I’ve been involved in this affair many times. The beautiful new clothes that hang in the windows, the smell of new shoes (my weakness!), the sparkle in those diamond earrings– all of these things can occupy a wife’s mind, leaving no room for the Lord or her husband. Flipping through pages and pages of catalogs, or online shopping for hours takes away from time you could spend be spending with your husband.

Wishing you had things that you don’t not only wastes your time, but it can also make your husband feel like he is not providing for you. Of all the things a wife can do to her husband, not showing him respect or making him feel inadequate is by far the worst.

In the consumer world we live in, it is very easy to fall into this trap. Don’t let yourself be fooled. It is not the things that surround us that make us happy, but the people that love us.

C. Career Affair- {{This issue can be very tricky in today's world because so many women do in fact work and have careers outside the home. I don't mean to hurt feelings, so please keep in mind that these are just my personal beliefs.}}

If you are a homemaker, this shouldn't be an issue for you. If you are still working outside your home, please do not get into an affair with your job. No one needs you more than your husband. Those faxes can wait until morning. Does that email need to be sent right now? No. But will your marriage suffer because you are constantly putting these things ahead of your man? Absolutely.

If this sounds like you, I urge you to pray and think about the reasons you are working. For me, it was the luxuries the extra money afforded us. I wanted to travel and spend and buy and me, me, me. We didn’t need my teacher’s salary to live comfortably. We’re doing fine right now. Can I shop every weekend like I used to? No. Can we take 2-3 trips each year anymore? No. But I’m secure in knowing that I’m right where God wants me to be: in my home, serving my wonderful husband, and creating a welcoming environment for us to live in. To me, that’s worth more than anything I could buy.

In the next part of the series, I’ll pick up with three more types of affairs that can affect your relationship with your husband. And we’ll also look a little bit into why these affairs happen.

Hope you have a great rest of the week!

Romance your Hubby: Be a Sweetheart

credit

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I thought I'd share some ways that I show Southern Hubby I care for him and adore him. Some of these tips may not even be outright showy, but doing them often will definitely make him feel loved.

Talk him up.
Remember as wives, we are to lift our husbands up! I make it a rarity, if ever, that I go to my girlfriends with husband woes. I want the world to see him as he is- a wonderful man, provider, and my best friend. They never will if all I do is complain that he never puts his clothes in the hamper, or he went out to happy hour with his work buddies last Friday.

Wine and dine him.
It isn't only us girls that like to be romanced. They won't often admit it, but guys want to be swept off their feet, too. Send him flowers at work. Make him a sappy CD full of loves songs that mean something to only the two of you and leave it on the seat of his car. Put a romantic note in his lunch. They don't have to cost a lot of money, just something to show that you're thinking about him.

The way to his heart.

It's through the stomach, right? ;) I love to cook and bake for Southern Hubby. The other day, I made him some puff pastries filled with pudding. It wasn't his birthday. It wasn't a holiday. I just did it. And it showed him I cared. {I'll write the recipe for you in my next post.}

Be silly and sponatenous.
Once, I bought a bunch of little gifts that I knew Southern Hubby would like. They weren't anything major and they didn't cost a fortune (think DVD's, a raquet for squash, golf balls, ect.) At the front door I left a note telling him he'd be going on a scavenger hunt! For each clue he found, he'd get a gift. Of course the big gift at the end was ME! :) The clues were goofy and silly and I tried my best to make them rhyme. But what counted was that I tried! So catch him off guard. Be spontaneous! Make it your own special day and he'll feel so loved!

Be touchy-feely.

This should go without saying, but in the hustle and bustle of the everyday, you forget to touch. Pinch his bottom or lay a big kiss on him (longer than 10 seconds, or it doesn't count!) Do anything you think that will let him know you still think he's the cutest guy ever!

Pray for him.
Whenever I give Southern Hubby a kiss goodbye for the day, I whisper in my heart a little prayer. I pray that he makes it to work safely. I pray that he has a good day. I pray that he finds a minute to be with God. I pray that work is gratifying to him. I mainly just pray for him. I do it because I love him. He doesn't even have to know about this one. But do it because it reminds yourself that he is one of your most treasured earthly possessions.

                         **********

Of course, these tips won't work for everyone. When we read, "The Five Love Languages," I found out that Southern Hubby's love language is Acts of Service. He feels most loved when I do the thing that need doing, when I'm not being lazy around the house. He likes to feel taken care of. Well, being a housewife, I think that should be pretty easy! But sadly, I can get lost in doing things for the house and not necessarily him.

I'd encourage you to find out what you and your husband's love languages are and work towards developing habits to show him you love him. You can both take the test here.

Have fun! :)

Secrets to a Joyful Home

While I'd like to think I channel Donna Reed and Martha Stewart while performing my homemaker duties, cheery and creative disposition is not always the case.

Sometimes I can be quite grumpy and I know it needs to stop. I'm so privileged to be a homemaker and caretaker of my family.

I'm trying to take stock of the times I'm the grumpiest so I know how to prevent a "Roseanne" attack from coming. Cause really, who wants to be married to her?

Here are just a few things I've noticed that keep me in the best of housekeeping moods...

credit: Country Living

Keep laundry maintained: Nothing sets my teeth on edge more than laundry room full of overflowing dirty clothes bins. For my family, all it takes is one load per day to keep us looking organized like the picture above (which sadly is not my laundry room)

Keep your dining room table for eating: I can't tell you how many homes I've walked into where the dining room (or breakfast table) was the home to careless clutter! A dining room is for just that-dining. It's not for housing the bills, or the laundry (see above) or the kid's school project.

While I admit, I do sometimes craft on my dining room table because it is so large, I clean up afterwards. Once I had a quilting project stay on my table for weeks and I winced every single time company stopped by, or I even passed by the room. It was an eyesore. So, do your mood a favor and keep it nice and tidy.

Invest in picture frames: Don't keep your cherished memories locked away. Frame them and show off your family! Every time I walk by a framed picture, I'm taken back to that specific memory. What a joyful thing it is to walk about your house and get to smile each time you walk through a room.

Be thankful: No matter if you have 1000 sq.ft of space, or 10,000 sq.ft., be thankful for what God has given you. Discontentment means that you don't trust God's judgement to give you what he thinks is best for you. Be thankful for the roof you do have over your head and work to make it a welcoming place to come home to.

Have parties: There is no better way to create special memories in your home than to invite people over for parties! It brings a special energy to the house and let's you flex your hospitality muscles. It also gives you something to work towards to beautifying your home- whether it's mopping those floors, or mowing the grass.

Candles: This one goes without saying. I'm always uplifted when I light my candles. Always. And more often than not, it puts me in the mood to make my surroundings as clean and homey as possible. I once told Southern Hubby that the greatest compliment someone can give me about my home is that it smells good. Hearing that just makes my soul soar! :) My favorites are Circle E, Luxe, and Tyler Candle Co. I just ordered some Scentsy stuff so we'll see how that goes. ;)

Be prepared for unexpected guests: Nothing puts me in the worst of moods like when there is a knock at my door and I know that I'm not prepared for guests. Whether it be an un-made bed, direty guest bathroom or a sink full of dishes, I'm always so embarrassed! Keep your home as if you were expecting someone to drop by. Might I add that this also includes having several different drinks on stock for people's different tastes. I can become quite mortified when all I have to offer people to drink is water and Diet Mountain Dew. Yipes!

                       *******

Theses are just a few things that I like to keep in mind while I go about my daily life. It really takes quite the effort to keep a home maintained and clean. I really do applaud those women who go out there and work for most of the day, only to come home and have to do what I do at night. Thank God we women are equipped to handle the stresses of daily life. :)

Are there any tips you have for keeping a happy and joyful home? I'd love to hear them!

Can I shop, please?

Sacrificing for Him.

I didn't realize I had such an addiction to shopping. I gave up shopping for Lent and I'm about to have a tiny break down. The Lenten Season began just one week ago and I already can't take it. I just keep jumping from blog to blog, J.Crew to Amazon, Etsy to Pottery Barn, and I see beautiful things I want.

Want. Need.

Two very different things.

I want these...

 and this...

Redeeming Love

and this...

Oh, and one of these would be really nice...

Canon EF 100mm f/2.8 Macro USM Lens for Canon SLR Cameras

But the only things I need, are these...

Happy Wednesday!

xoxo

A True Prep...

* ... will always choose a classic style over fad/trendy fashions.

*... will always treat everyone, from the Queen of England to the bus boy at restaurant with courtesy and respect.

* A true prep's wardrobe consists of some expensive clothing, but they've had it for the better part of a decade.

*... knows the importance of manners. And uses them!

* does not pop the collars of American Eagle/Abercrombie & Fitch polo shirts. A true prep abhors flaunting labels, choosing to maintain subtle fashion over gaudiness.

* prefers a well-built car, like a Volvo sedan over flashy vehicles. You will not see them driving a yellow Hummer or red Ferrari.

*...would rather spending the evening at home, hosting dinner and drinks with friends, than at a loud and smoky bar paying $12 for the latest mixed drink craze.

*...knows the concept of 'trying too hard,' and avoids it by being practical and sticking with the classics.

* is a classy individual. They know where to go, who to know and they seriously believe in class. They do the right things, whether it's holding the door for a lady, mixing a Gin and Tonic with the right proportions, or double-spacing after every period when drafting an essay. Being a prep is not a trend, it is a way of life.

Now, I want to hear your thoughts! Fill in the blank, sweet readers! A True Prep ______.

xoxo

The Fabulous Thank You Note

I'd like to welcome my first guest post written by Nationally Renowned Etiquette Expert, Author, and Speaker, Joy Weaver. Today, she highlights the wonderful, yet ever elusive thank you note.

***************************************

The Fabulous Thank-You Note 

It is an honor to be a guest blogger for the very popular Her Southern Charm. So with out further adieu, let me say thank-you to her which goes hand in hand with our topic today: the power of a fabulous thank–you note.

Oh how I love to receive thank-you notes. I adore the words, the thoughtfulness, the look and the feel of the paper, and what I’m impressed with mostly is the timeliness of many “etiquetteistas” (cousin of the fashionista). To receive a thank-you note within three days is considered superior manners. And we all want to have Jackie O. manners - right!

If you subscribe to my tip of the week from my website (www.justaskjoy.com) you received this tip two weeks ago.


The Christmas gifts have all been unwrapped and hopefully your thank-you notes have already been sent to those who gave you a gift, or included you in a celebration in their home.


Remember: This is the perfect time to teach children to write thank-you notes.
If you are not current on your thank-you notes – it is never too late to send, maybe a little embarrassing, but never too late.


The use of the handwritten note is often overlooked in our fast-paced society. Thus, a note written promptly and sincerely is an important practice of etiquette that is more effective, and much more appreciated than an e-mail. Most of our snail-mail contains mostly junk mail and bills so something as special as handwritten notes are rare, which makes them much more meaningful to the recipient. The words and thoughts written shows the other person your sincerity, character and appreciation and many times the notes will be saved to share with others, and kept to read repeatedly.


Writing a thank-you note really can be your secret to success—the real difference maker. Let’s say, you ask someone for a donation to a charity – send a thank-you note immediately for their time and ... watch the money roll in!


Or perhaps you interviewed for a job - immediately send a thank-you note to each person who interviewed you. Most likely you will be the only candidate who sends a note, and should the decision be a close one between you and another person – guess who gets the job … You! Why? Because you took the time to take that extra step showing not only that you are polished, but that you really want the job, and most of all it shows your sincere gratefulness for the opportunity to interview for the position.


Reasons to write note cards are limitless. I always suggest keeping a box of embossed note cards on your desk with a roll of stamps near-by. Immediately send a quick note to thank the person who took you to lunch, bought you a gift, did a favor for you, or perhaps gave you words of encouragement. There are many reasons to send a note to others, and the only inappropriate note card is the card that is never sent!

How late is too late? The sooner the better! But, it is never too late to send a note of thanks. It is best to send it within the first week, preferable within 48 hours, it seems much more sincere when sent immediately.

How do I choose a note card? The 4 x 6 flat, heavy cards are called “correspondence cards” and are the best choice for all around note cards. A more feminine approach would be the “informals” also known as “fold-overs.”


What do I say? Start by using the person’s name and expressing appreciation for what they have done. Example:

Dear Jen,


Thank you for the delicious lunch today. How did you know that The Mediterranean Grill is one of my favorite places to dine. I truly enjoyed getting to know you and learning more about your family business.
I will not forget your kindness anytime soon nor will I forget the amazing dessert!


We must meet there again soon – my treat!

All my best,
Joy


If you are writing a note of thanks for a gift, mention how you will use the gift - "the photo album is the exactly what we needed for our family vacation photos.” If you are thanking someone for a thoughtful gesture say, “thank you for kind words ….” And mention how they impacted you.

Other tips: Only write on the front of the card, never finish your thoughts on the back. Write the date on the bottom left of the note card. (yes, you read that correctly – bottom left!)


Remember: Your stationery is a reflection of you! Keep in mind the impression you hope to make. If you are a professional executive, it is not appropriate to send pink polka-dotted cards to your clients. It is best to order solid color correspondence cards with your name or initials engraved or embossed on the front along with your return address on the envelope flap. Choose a font that is readable. The swirled scripted fonts can be difficult to read, try the blocked letters for a visible and clear print.

The thank-you note has helped numerous Presidents be elected over the years. The savvy candidates recognize the power of the thank-you note and carries a box of cards on the campaign trail. They write notes immediately following each event to the volunteers and hosts in each town and city. Many believe it is this personal touch of the notes that is so special and is what propels them into the White House.


We are beginning a New Year and this is a perfect time to incorporate new and fabulous habits into our personal and professional lives. The power of a sincere thank-you note could be the exact reason you keep an existing relationship, make a new one, receive a promotion or even get elected as President. It is up to you … why not order that box of note cards and starting writing fabulous thank-you notes now!
 

Joy Weaver is a nationally renowned etiquette expert, speaker, spokesperson, and author of “Just Ask Joy… How to Be Socially Savvy in All Situations”—a book highly endorsed by Jean and Zig Ziglar. Joy represents designer Joseph Ribkoff and is a regular guest on ABC’s Good Morning Texas. She is nationally published and has been featured on ABC’s The View, in the Associated Press, New York Times, USA Today, Southern Living Magazine, Dallas Morning News, and The Dallas Business Journal. Protocol Enterprises/Just Ask Joy is based in Dallas and has served clients across the country since 2000. You can learn more at www.justaskjoy.com or follow her at http://twitter.com/SociallySavvy or visit her blog at http://www.allthingsrefined.blogspot.com/

We are SO fake!

Can I rant a bit? Can I step on my soap box for a little while?

When did we become so fake? When did there become more of us that is unreal than real?

And we're not just talking about breast implants anymore, ladies. Now, Ms. Average Girl can have fuller, lusher, blonder hair, longer eyelashes, tanner skin, plumper lips, long acrylic nails, and even a bigger butt! We are becoming liars, girl! Liars! We are filling our children and men's heads with unnatural and unattainable beauty. It isn't real... none of it!

What happens when you pull the hair cap too low on your forehead when getting a spray tan and you end up with a very visible white streak? What happens when you don't glue your eye lashes on the right way and they start peeling off by the end of the night? What happens when you lose a fake nail in the lasagna? What happens when your husband wants to run his fingers through your hair and pulls out an extension? How would you get out of that lie?

(No offense, but I've never been a fan of hair extensions. The whole thing just ooges me out. I have a fake hair phobia. If it's not on my head, then I don't want to touch it.)

To me, all of this is cheating. It's being untruthful about who I really am. Don't get me wrong- there is nothing wrong with accentuating the fab parts about you that you do have, but no one should have you feeling inadequate about stuff the world deems you don't have.

But don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. I've spent many a lunch break in the tanning bed, many hundreds of dollars for the perfect highlights job, and many a wasted hour gazing at the nose I absolutely hate. I only have myself to blame. And you only have yourself to blame.

We do this to ourselves, ladies. We complain and gripe about the women in the glossies that survive on carrot sticks and lettuce, all the while clamoring for the products that promise us the biggest lashes, reddest lips, whitest teeth and thickest hair. We spend millions of our hard earned money on things that tell the world that we essentially feel we aren't good enough. We hit our men over the head when they oogle a platinum blonde with double DDs. Yet, with every padded bra we buy, we are pushing that unrealistic concept of beauty just a bit further out of reach. And every time I showed off my fake and bake tan, I was telling people that this color of skin was perfection- everything else just wasn't good enough.

Isn't it time we come out from under the wigs and Spanx and pop off those fake nails and show who we really are?

When will we be done with hiding our true selves?

When can we stop being embarassed about being a size 12, or an A cup, or fair skinned, or thin lipped, or *gasp* not really blonde?!

When will we be proud of the beautiful women God made us to be? Isn't it enough that we're beautiful in His eyes? Because it really should be.

Have a happy and beautiful day, my gorgeous readers!!!
xoxo Y

PS. I'll be back tomorrow with more fall decor. For some reason, I was really ticked off about this today and had to get it off my chest! Thanks for letting me vent!

Southern Traditions:Part 2

Hey y'all! Excuse my tardiness but our house has just been in a flurry of activities. Last night I spoke with the president of Perfect Swag. We chit-chatted long into the night. And let me tell you, she is a hoot! Anyway, she had a wonderful business opportunity for me and my little shop. Unfortunately, I can't disclose any of the details just yet, but y'all will be one of the first to know when I can. Promise!

Now let's finish our southern tradition countdown!

Ten Southern Traditions We Need to Keep Alive:

6. Writing thank-you notes: I touched on this earlier this year. You can read the post here. It's polite, it's proper, and it's mandatory. Enough said.

7. Knowing the basics of homemaking: If you have been a reader of mine for a while now, you'll know that I quit my career as a 5th grade teacher to stay home. (No, I do not have children. I think my husband alone is worth me taking care of myself and our home.)

When I first became a homemaker I set out to learn the basics- sewing, knitting, baking, canning etc. Our grandmothers knew these crafts because they had to know them. Making do was needed to survive and save money. Thankfully we are now blessed with abundance. But that does not mean we should let these precious arts go by the wayside. My great-grandma did these to make do, and I'm doing them to make a home a home.

8. Slowing down: Oh, this is such a biggie. And I constantly have to remind myself of this. The busyness of life has seeped into our southern culture and we are now in the proverbial 'rat race.' We no longer sit on our porches with a glass of sweet tea, waving at anyone who walks by- we don't have the time. In between work, and the gym, and PTA meetings, the kid's ballet, soccer, and football practices, and squeezing dinner in there somewhere, we've lost the art of slowing down.

On our honeymoon in St. Lucia, Southern Hubby and I enjoyed sumptuous feasts each night at our resort's restaurant. The food was divine. But we were a bit thrown off by the fact that we had to wait at least an hour and half (sometimes more!) for the food to arrive. It was like they took our order and then went to take a nap before they turned it in to the chef! After a couple nights of this, we were starting to get miffed! But looking around at the European guests, we noticed they weren't irritated at all- they had glass after glass of wine, all the while indulging in stories of that day's adventures. They were savoring their dining experience. It didn't matter when the food got there- they had family and friends to talk to for the meantime and that was just fine.

In our go-go-go! world, Southern Hubby and I were used to being seated, having appetizers, dinner and maybe a desert in under an hour. (maybe a little more if you had to pay the check ;) What we thought was horrible service was actually the Saint Lucian norm- enjoying your company, savoring your meal, and visiting long after the plates are gone.

That night, we walked away full stomachs and a wonderful lesson.

9. Pearls, pearls and more pearls!- I know y'all are all with me on this one!

10. Southern Hospitality: We in the south delight in entertaining! We live for parties and welcoming people into our homes.

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

- Hebrews 13:2

We Southerners take this very seriously- our home is your home. We must remember, though, that being a good hostess has nothing to do with the quality of your silver and china, or even what you serve at your table- it's more about graciousness of your giving and making special memories. Conversation is a verra close second.

(Did y'all read, "Devil in the Junior League"? Based in Texas, the main character, Frede, has our typical Texan drawl and it is a hoot! "Well, bless your heart," and "verra, verras" are sprinkled throughout the story!)

Happy Hump day to my lovely readers!

xoxo Y

Southern Traditions: Part 1

Southern traditions go deep.

They run through our bodies, in our blood, settling straight in our proud hearts. But somehow, some things are changing. Society, even in the South, is not as warm as it used to be. Gone are the days of saying hello to every stranger you pass on the street. People no longer make eye contact in public, for fear of being perceived as strange, creepy, or odd. Neighbors tend keep to themselves- consider yourself lucky if you know the people to the right and left of you.

I love that people from around the country expect Southern people to be warm and gracious. This is one stereotype I'd like to keep going. We should cherish the things that set us apart. What's wrong with holding parties for no reason? Why not strike up a conversation with the person behind you in line at the grocery store? Let's hang on to the things that have kept us a proud people.

10 Southern Traditions we need to keep alive:

1. Respecting our elders: The generations that have gone on before us know a thing or two about life. We shouldn't shake our heads at our grandparents, thinking, "Things aren't the same as they were when you were young. Catch up to the hear and now!" Honor and keep their memories precious.

2. Hats and white gloves: I have been very into dresses lately. I feel more feminine when I'm wearing a dress. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my jeans. But there's something about dressing like a lady that evokes the spirit of tradition within me. Add a sun hat and white gloves, and my goodness, I'd feel like Jackie O.!

3. Saying ma'am and sir: I believe I once told the story of how Southern Hubby, who hails from the Midwest, was often perplexed when I would answer anyone with this formality, even the girl from the McDonald's drive-thru. To me, it doesn't matter what 'position' a person has, everyone deserves the same amount of respect. This is especially important when addressing someone older than you.

4. Helping out a stranger: Once, SH and I were getting out of our car in a grocery store parking lot. We noticed a woman drop her wallet as she got out of her car. She did not notice it and began heading towards the store. We immediately went to pick it up to return it her. You could see the shock and relief in her face when we handed it to her. She then told us that she had just cashed her paycheck, and that wallet contained the only money she had in the world. She was there to buy food for her children. If you see someone in need of a hand, go offer your help. It won't take but a couple minutes and they will appreciate it more than you know.

5. Properly setting your table and *gasp* using real cloth napkins: When we got married, SH and I were so blessed to have gotten all the dinnerware and table linens we requested. For the first year of our marriage I set our table sparingly, wanting to save our 'nicer' things for company. But I soon realized that my family was just as important as any company that walked through our door. Why not make them feel special and pampered? Why not make every dinner an event? Use the things you deem 'for company' everyday. Those napkins were made to hold the crumbs from your grandmother's ham biscuits.

That's it for today! Come back on Wednesday for part 2! :)

Happy Monday, folks! Let's start the week off with a smile! :)
xoxo Y

My Questions to Your Answers

So, I wasn't expecting questions that required so much soul searching and thought! Y'all know this Southern girl likes to save her brain cells for crunching the budget numbers so she can figure out how to get a Kindle 2! ;) I'm just teasing, but I was really impressed with the questions via comments and email.

Well, let's get started answering them, shall we?

If you could change one thing about your hubby, what would it be?

Hmmm...that is a tough one. I love the man. Love the man, I really do. But sometimes I wish he drove a little faster. He's used to Midwestern driving. Down here in Texas, it's move or get out of the way! In all seriousness I do wish he was born south of the Mason Dixon line. I don't think Yankees really get the passion for traditions that us Southerners have. He doesn't really understand it, so I have to explain things to him that come normal to me. For example, when he first moved here from up north, he was a little weirded out by the amount of "Texas" stores that were in the malls. Yes, we Texans love our state so much that we create stores that have nothing but Texas stuff in them- flags, frames with flags on them, framed Texas flags, flag magnets, flag t-shirts, Texas shaped ice cube trays, flag wrapping paper, well, you get the idea. :)

taken on the shores of Mexico

If you could establish a residence anywhere in the world, where would you go?

This one was a little confusing. I didn't know if she meant to live there permanently or to just have a residence there, like a vacation house.

For a permanent residence and inside the U.S, I'd love to live somewhere up in New England. Love the fall weather there (fall is my fave season!), love the cool temps, love the accents, love the scenery, love the ocean, love it all! :) Of course, I'd have to keep a residence here in Texas. And since we're dreaming, it would be a ranch with a couple of golf holes and putting greens for SH and a tennis court for me. Oh, and a full time baseboard cleaner and mac n' cheese maker.

For a permanent residence outside of the U.S, I think it would have to Turks and Caicos. SH and I had a blast there when we went to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary. We dream of owning a few villas and renting them out to tourists. A year round tan...ahh, that would be the life.

I was wondering if you experience much criticism from relatives, acquaintances or from the blog world for the way you lead your life? I too am similar to you in the ways that I am a housewife with fur children and a baby on the way and I was curious if you did get this kind of criticism, is it often and why do you think you get that kind of treatment, if you do at all? I read some of your past posts and noticed a little bit of an attack coming from some readers who seemed to be bothered by your personal choices.

Well, in a nutshell, yes I did. I have a degree in Education my parents think I'm wasting my degree. A lot of my friends are stay at home mommies themselves, so criticism from friends is not a problem. Outside of my parents, no one really says much. My grandmother loves it, but then again, she literally was a 50's housewife.

Now, the blog world is a whole different beast. I put my own opinions out here cause the majority of the girls/women I reach are housewives/stay at home moms themselves, or they plan on being one after they get married or after they have children. Every so often, I do get a super outspoken gal who wants me to know I'm setting women back to the dark ages and ruining what feminists fought so hard for and yada yada. Unless it is a vicious or mean spirited personal attack, I don't even respond. It doesn't faze me. But when they start getting nasty, that's when I just can't keep my big mouth shut. I tend to let me anger get the best of me. But I'm really working on this and working on a spirit of meekness.

I don't know why all people feel so strongly one way or another. Personally, for me, it's a religious thing. I feel this is where God wants me to be at this point in my life. Do I feel all women should be homemakers? Yes and no. I think God wants us to be a part of a realize the joys of homemaking but there are some women in the world that are meant to have certain careers, just as there are some women for who aren't meant to have/need children. Let's take a nurse in war. Wounded and often spiritually beaten soldiers need the comfort at gentle care that only women can bring to bring them to health. Our soft qualities and traits are often a blessing to the careers women tend to seek- teacher, nurse, hospitality, beauty, etc. (And I'm not saying that men cannot be teachers, nurses, whatever. It's just that we *can* be better at some trades. I know I couldn't be a construction worker!) Does this sound a bit sexist. Yeah, probably. But I'm working hard on not pushing my ideals on others because I don't appreciate when they do it to me. Oh, I can feel the fans of flames coming on! ;)

The Southern Housewife with two of her mama friends

What's the best advice for keeping up with friends who are in different stages of life?

Whew, this one is a toughie. I'm actually going through this issue right now with my friends. At the age we're getting, the majority of SH and my friends are starting to have babies. Like I said prior, we're not quite sure if this whole baby thing is for us. So what does this mean? It means, we don't get invited to kid's birthday parties, which is totally fine with us! lol It means not being in on play dates, park dates, etc. And it doesn't hurt our feelings at all. We understand and those type of events are just not for us. But it does hurt because I miss my pals when I don't see them a lot.

So, we try to make more of an effort to plan adult only events with them. This requires:

• more heads up that what we used to give back when there were no kids. Back then, we could just call each other up and be ready to hang out in 30 mins flat. Now, they need a lot more time to plan because of babysitters and such.


• more of an effort on our part (or those without the kids) to make the actual plans. My friends with kids have a lot going on in their lives with the children. This is not to say we have no lives, but it's a lot easier for us to squeeze in a 30 minute calling/email session setting things up and getting the plans rolling. Is this fair? Nah, not really. But it's what you have to do when you want to see you besties. :)

That's all I have in me right now for answers. I'll get to the others this weekend or Monday. Stay tuned, cause the next ones have a couple of decor info in them. How fun!

I've decided that I'm not going to do another post on meekness. After reviewing my last ones, I think I sort of said it all. Anything else would be a bit redundant.

Happy fun and sun filled Friday! Blessings to you all :)

xoxo Y

UPDATE: I just read the last comment on my previous post from anonymous. That post is really making me think! And don't worry anonymous, in no way did I take it as rude or critical. It really is eye opening and is making me think positive things! Before I answer, I'm going to pray and think some more about it cause I can see how it will be self-improving to do so. Thank you very much for your thoughtfully laid out comments. :) They are very much appreciated!! And please know that those messy rooms did get cleaned up- I should have showed the after pictures. But the gym..yeah, I didn't make it to the gym. ;p -SH

Meekness in Everyday Life

Meekness in your heart says,

" I accept the circumstances in my life. I don't resent them. I don't escape them or try to resist them. I don't complain and whine. If it is something that cannot be changed then I trust that God has put it in my life for a reason."

Who among us has not wished we had a different position in life? Who among us wished we were married when we were not, or richer when we were just scraping by, or thinner when we struggled with weight? Have you looked at someone's situation and compared yours to it? The grass is always greener...

When we have meekness in our heart, we understand and accept that God has given us this life for a reason. (It serves us no good to only outwardly portray the spirit of meekness. It must start in our hearts first, in order to be pleasing to God and affect our lives positively.) Our circumstances, however hard or blessed they may be, ultimately are given to serve some purpose for the life He has planned for us. Wishing or crying about change does nothing to help us. Debating with God is self-defeating. The things we do to achieve that change may be the trials He wants us to experience and to learn from.

Your spirit of meekness, or lack thereof, also greatly affects the way you will respond the people around you. Take the conversation I just had with a grouchy woman at my bank:

Me: Hi, I'm calling to activate my replacement debit card.

Bank Representative: Can I get the card number?

*Jacks and Matty begin to yip at who knows what outside, and Southern Hubby is trying to tell me something above their barking before he walks out the door*

Me: I'm sorry, can you repeat that please?

BR: I said, 'Your CARD NUMBER! *with a very not happy to be here and talking to this dip attitude*

Now, before I started studying meekness, I would have yelled the number right back to her and the rest of the conversation would consist of both of us being in sour attitudes and giving it to each other. Once off the phone, that spirit would probably be reflected in my send-off of Southern Hubby. Depending on his mood at the time, that sourness could have stayed with him for the rest of his day. So, instead of ignoring her foulness, now three people potentially could be in a funk, instead of one. And all because I was too proud and strong to take her rudeness towards me and just let it roll off my back.

Thankfully, God sort of waved His hand in front of my face and was like, "Tada! Here's your chance to shine!" So, I didn't tell her what I really wanted to tell her. I didn't say it in the tone I really wanted to say it in. And I didn't make her feel insignificant or dumb, like I really wanted to.

Practicing meekness meant enduring her condescending attitude patiently, calmly and without any spirit of retaliation. Was that in me 100%? Absolutely not. The first few seconds I did speak with that same rudeness right back. But I stepped back and realized that that was not how I wanted my spirit to be. In the end, she got over it. Maybe it was because I continued to talk to her like a human being and with no animosity. We ended the phone cheerfully, very different than how we could have ended it had I not been meek in response to her unkindness.

"Be angry and sin not."

- Ephesians 4:26

The function of meekness in most purposes is to direct and control any anger or ill will we may harbour so that we do not sin. We can be angry. It is a natural human response. It is what we do with that anger that can lead us to sin. And, between you and me, I did not want to start my day off already on the naughty list. Do not let other's behavior control your spirit. and feelings. Let those only be governed by the Holy Spirit.

Easier said than done, I know. Believe me, I know. I'm the hot-headed firecracker, remember? But I'm beginning to use the tools given to me to fight off other's slights and am becoming a better woman because of it.

Next time, we'll talk about the things we can do to handle provokation and steps we can take to ensure that we do no sin when we are sinned against.

Happy "cool" 90's weather, all you Texans out there!

xoxo Y

Adding a blog button

Just follow these simple steps buttons to your blog:

1. Log in to your blogger account.

2) From the Dashboard click on the Template tab.

3. When you arrive at the 'ADD AND ARRANGE PAGE ELEMETS' screen, click on the 'Add a Page Element' option in the sidebar. Then, choose 'HTML/JavaScript' and click ADD TO BLOG.

4. A new empty box should pop open. Make sure you have allowed pop-ups.

5. Choose a name or title for this 'box' - e.g. Daily Reads. (It is not required though.) You then need to enter the link tags or image source code. Ususally blog authors will put the code right under a button. All you need to do is copy and paste it into the empty html box. Click on SAVE CHANGES, otherwise it won't add it.

6. Lastly, after you save the changes, you can click and drag page elements on the ADD AND ARRANGE PAGE ELEMENTS screen to put the button in the location you'd like.

Hope this helps. Good luck, y'all! :)

A quick easy tutorial: my schedule, yet again

Hello my lovely readers,

I wanted to try *again* to post a picture of my daily schedule template. I know a lot of people could not open my file because it's in the newest version of Microsoft Office, so I just turned this into a jpeg file which means you won't be able to download and edit it on your own. You'll just be able to view it and then start your own schedule. I did this obviously in Office.

Here are the simple steps:

1. open new file in Microsoft Word
2. go to the "table tab", click on 'insert' and then 'table'
3. or this particular table size you will need 2 columns and 3 rows; don't be afraid to add more if you think you'll need them
4. stretch out the table; you will be able to adjust the sizes of your boxes
5. Open a text box, then add the chores or listings that you need
6. Continue to add new text boxes and place them in their appropriate places. And voila! You've got yourself a schedule!

Tips:

• I like to add some fun fonts and little pictures to make the sheet look whimsical.
• In order to format your text boxes, you'll need to right click on it, then go to Format Text Box; you'll be able to get rid of the borders, fill, center text, etc.
• While you are making up your list of things to do, add blank lines in case you hit any unexpected chores. And believe me, you will. :)
• If you have any questions, feel free to email me!
• One last thing, I've gotten a ton of questions about my fonts. Find these gems at http://www.kevinandamanda.com/ Oh, how I love me some Amanda! She's a southern housewife too, and would prob be my BFF if she lived closer- she doesn't have any children, she has two super cute dogs, she's an avid photographer, loves graphic design, and is just an all around sweet southern gal from Arkansas. You are going to LOVE, LOVE her site. Promise.

Hope this all works out! I will now get started working on the list of chores for each individual day. Thanks!

Happy grid making! ;)

xoxo Y