Search for Religion

"What separates us as believers in Christ is much less than what unites us."

- Pope John XXIII

To say that I've been struggling with the issue of "religion" would be an understatement. As most of you know, I'm Catholic. I've been so since I was born. This religion was all I knew. After many years of private Catholic school, I grew to love the traditions, the reverence, the authority. When I met Southern Hubby it was a comfort to find the his family were devout Catholics as well. (Dating in this day and age can be challenging enough without throwing different religions into the mix.) We had a destination wedding and were married in a historic mission in San Antonio, a beautifully simplistic and rustic Catholic church that is still survives even to this day. So, our marriage is blessed by the Church.

Yet, as SH and I got deeper into our marriage, we became more and more disenchanted with the Church. We couldn't seem to find one that fit our needs- regular fellowship opportunities, a traditional mass (we're not fans of the mega church, electric guitar, hip hop choir type of service), and a Father we could relate to. It was odd to see that even some Catholic churches are reverting to the more contemporary style of worship- one that is very foreign to us. We don't condemn people who partake in this, we just don't understand it and it is not for us. We're old school Catholic, I guess. ;)

Besides the physical part of the Church, there were definitely some things we didn't agree with. Almost reluctantly, we began to branch out and look to other religions. Now the thing about (Christian) religion is, at the heart of it all- we're the same. We're the exact same. We believe one God, our Father, His Son Jesus, the Holy Spirit and thus, the Holy Trinity. That is at the core of our beliefs. What makes us different is all the rest of it. To me, what makes us the same is much more important than what makes us different. And I truly believe this with all of my heart and soul. Never once have I thought that anyone outside of the Catholic faith will be condemned because of their religious choices. Now, I'm going to say something that some may find very controversial- I don't judge other (non Christian) religions either. It's not my place. {Yet sadly, I've had it done to me for my faith. Not by Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, or Hindus. Nope. But by my own Christian brothers and sisters.}

And even though I truly believe this, I'm scared to venture beyond the Catholic religion. I feel like I'm betraying my sweet faith that has gotten me through so much. But there are some issues I don't agree with that I just can't seem to shake. SH and I are actually in the process of trying on other churches for size. Some of them are Catholic. And some of them are Episcopalian. Even though the Episcopal church is so close to the Catholic church, I still find myself nervous. I'm scared. Will I be judged? If so, by who? By God? By my Catholic friends? I don't have answers for these right now. And who knows if I ever will.

I do know that Sunday, SH and I will be going to our very first Episcopal service. I'm sure it will be different. I'm sure some of it will be the same, too. But I need to realize that what's more important is if I feel God there. Do I feel Him in that church, be it Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Methodist, whatever. Our current Catholic church is brand spankin' new. Marble floors, gorgeous Austin stone throughout, a beautiful eternity type fountain for the Holy water. It'll bring tears to your eyes, it's so heavenly.

But it's sterile. And sometimes it feels empty to SH and I. Is He there for other parishioners? Probably so. But He's not for us. Which makes me think that He doesn't want us here- He doesn't think this is the place that we'll feel close to Him and want to grow with Him and study His word.

Does that mean that all Catholic churches are like this? Heavens no! We've been in some where the Holy Spirit surrounds us, welcomes us. Were they are pretty as our current church? Probably not. Did they have a big projection screen for those people in the back that couldn't see? Probably not. Was their activity center as huge and accommodating as ours? Doubtful. But He was there. And we could feel Him.

So, I'm trying to remind myself that what is most important in the church we find is that He be there, welcoming us and guiding us. What's less important is the name on the church sign, what the people call themselves, and how big and beautiful the church is. I pray He is leading me in the right direction. Because I'd much rather call myself an active Episcopalian, than a Sunday Catholic.

Happy Weekend, y'all!

xoxo Y

PS- Thank you to everyone who wished us well for our anniversary. We had a wonderful day indeed. :)