I'm having an affair. Are you? Part One: Activities, Materialism, & Career

Yesterday's post seemed to hit a bit of a nerve with a few of you wives out there. But, admission is the first step, so be proud of yourself!

I didn't want to. I fought it, put it off, said that I would change- that I could change. But I didn't. It devoured me until I became involved in a full blown affair.

No, I've never cheated physically or emotionally on Southern Hubby. I was having one of the many types of extramarital affairs that are threatening today's marriage that don't fall under that traditional "physical love affair" The ones that have been identified are:

A. activity/hobbies affair- These affairs happen when your hobbies and activities take a lot of the focus off you and your husband. You do not need to go out for happy hour with the girls every Friday. I'm sure your husband would love to spend a romantic Friday night with you. And I'm sure that night for him does not include you stumbling through the door, slurring your words, reeking of cigarette smoke on your clothes and vodka on your breath. That doesn't paint the picture of a very becoming lady, now does it?

And this can also involve things that may really virtuous and pleasing to the Lord. For example, volunteering and participating in church activities. But when they occupy the majority of your thoughts, stress you out, and keep you away from your duties at home, then it's time to take a step back and reevaluate all of your obligations. Your first obligations should be to God and then your husband.

B. materialism affair- I've been involved in this affair before many times. The beautiful new clothes that hang on the models, the smell of new driving moccasins, the sparkle in those diamond earrings, all of these things can occupy a wife's mind, leaving no room for the Lord or her husband. Flipping through pages and pages of catalogs, or online shopping for hours and time takes away from time would could be spending playing a board game with your hubby.

Wishing you had things that you don't not only wastes your time, but it can also make your husband feel like he is not providing for you. Of all the things a wife can do to her husband, not showing him respect, or making him feel inadequate is by far the worst.

C. career affair- If you are a homemaker, than this should never be an issue for you. But you are still working in a career, please do get into an affair with your job. No one needs you more than your husband. Those faxes can wait until morning. Does that email really need to be sent? Will the world come to a screeching halt if you aren't fully prepared for that presentation? No. But will your marriage suffer and maybe even die because you are constantly putting these things ahead of your man? Yes. Yes, it certainly can.

If this sounds like you, I urge you pray and thinking about the reasons you are working. For me, it was money. I wanted to travel and spend and buy and me, me, me. We didn't need my teacher's salary to live comfortably. We're doing fine right now. Can I shop at J.Crew every weekend like I used to? No. Can we take 2-3 trips each year anymore? No. But I'm secure in knowing that I'm right where God wants me to be- in my home, serving my wonderful husband and creating a welcoming environment for us to live in.

Tomorrow, I'll pick up with that last three types of affairs that can affect your relationship with your husband. And we'll also look a little bit into why these affairs happen. So, meet me back here manana! Same time, same place. :)

Happy holding on to your hubbies!!

xoxo Y