Happy Earth Day 2009!Here's the second part to "Getting to Know Me." And yes, that is little Southern Housewife in all her glorious 80's gear!
I know I didn't get to everyone's question but this round was pretty long and I got pretty wordy. I can't help it- I'm a talker. ;)
* What made you decide to become a homemaker?
My friend Kelly became a SAHM after her first child. She just up and quit and her job at a hospital and I was sort of confused by it. It really was the first time I had ever known of an actual homemaker. I don't think I even knew what the concept was! (Sad that I was already in my twenties.) I wasn't married at that point, so I sort of looked at it like a waste. Why would she want to do that? She went through school to work at a children's hospital and from what I could tell, she really enjoyed it. I just didn't get it.
And quite honestly, I didn't really start feeling differently until after I got married. I think God changes women's hearts after they get married. We suddenly stop thinking about what we can do for ourselves and start looking at what can we do for our family. He breathes into us the need to fulfill our calling as keepers of the home. We can all hear it. But most of us choose to ignore it in return for a promotion or a raise. We push it aside because we are liberated and went to college and dang it, we're going to use our degrees! Why waste a life trapped inside a home when I could be climbing the corporate ladder making my millions?
But I couldn't ignore it. So He kept nudging me gently. And I think He used Kelly to show me that I could have a different life- that it was possible to be home and still be fulfilled. So I began listening more closely about the things that she did- like cook dinner, clean her home, run errands, etc. And I don't know what changed in me, but I suddenly began wanting to do that. I still kept pushing it to the wayside though. Why in the world would I want to clean toilets all day? I hated cleaning! When I would get to thinking this way, God would do a bit more nudging and have Kelly tell me some story about her home life that made me start thinking about it again. Now keep in mind that Kelly and I had not talked about this previously. She still knew nothing of my budding desire to stay home.
And this cycle went on for a good while...
Southern Housewife: "I graduated and am loving my first job so far! Why would I want to ruin it by being home all day? What would I do?! I'd be so bored!"
God: *Nudge, nudge!*
Kelly: "Hey Jen! How was your day teaching? My day was good, too! Today I did x, y, and z. And Baby K is getting so big! You should see how she's started to roll over!"
Southern Housewife: "Aww, how cute Kel! Thanks for calling." ..... "Sounds like she has a pretty full day. I'm sure her husband really appreciates having her make dinner. And it sounds really fun to 'play house.' But I guess this would be real life 'playing house,' now wouldn't it? Gosh, it does seem fulfilling, but I just started teaching. We haven't even begun putting money away for a bigger house, and I really was wanting to start looking at new trucks soon...."
God: *Nudge, nudge!*
And it would start all over!
Meanwhile, teaching was taking it's toll on me. I was worn- physically and emotionally. I don't know if I can blame it all on work (although that was a huge part of it!) but 2005 was a huge year for me. I was planning my wedding while doing my last months of teaching residency at a low income school. I got married and went on our honeymoon in March, graduated from college in May, started building our first home while trying to look for my first teaching job during the summer, finally found a job in July, moved into our new home in August and started teaching. Whew! It was a crazy year and just caused so much stress (good and bad) that it really wore me down. I would come home from school literally crying. I couldn't take it. There was some backstabbing going on on my 5th grade team, and the principal was just not a fan of me. I had this one mother who was just horrible and would always call me up to chew me out the day before our major holidays just to make sure I had a crummy break, I kid you not! Lol. Anyway, during the middle of the school year, I was done. I knew that I wanted to be at home. I could see myself cleaning and cooking and gardening and I knew that is where I wanted to be. Why was I there dealing with stuff that
It really wasn't until that summer that I started reading about how this was just where God intended for women to be. He did not want women working- children or no children. And it just hit me square in the face. I didn't see it at the time, but God was nudging me to be right where he wanted me- HOME!
Let's think about something for a second. When did the country's morals start going down hill? When did kids start shooting up schools? When did gangs start taking over our communities? All of these things and more started happening because these were the children of the working women! Mothers were not home after school to make sure their children were not making bombs or planning to take a gun to school. They were there helping with homework, teaching manners, playing games with them- instilling morals that we so desperately need nowadays. See, we can't have it all. Something had to give and that was the family unit. When mothers started going to work, the family started falling apart. Why? Because God put us in charge of our families and we were failing. We decided to make more money, have a fancier career with a bigger and better title. I look at it as our ministry. This is what we were born to do. We were born to be our husband's helpmeet. We were born to tend to the house. It's in our God given nature. I cry for my former teacher friends who have to leave their babies in day care where they're raised by women who won't love them and are just there to get paid. I can see how it breaks them.
Well, I've said a mouthful, haven't I? I'm sure I rattled a few cages, but this is a homemaking blog after all, isn't it? And please know that just because I have this opinion does not mean that I think all working mothers out there are horrible, or less Christian, or raising gang members, because that just isn't true. We all have different lives and situations.
I know that there are single mothers out there struggling to make ends meet. I have a sister who is one of them. I know more than anything she'd love to be home when her child arrives after school. I know she hated that her baby had to attend day care until kindergarten. And I pray for her each and every day that she finds a good man- one who will take care of her and let her take care of him. We come from all walks of life and are all so very different. And God made us that way. He knows our situation- not me. So I never judge.
Who designed your blog? And where did you get that cute picture of you and Southern Hubby?
It's all me. :) I made and designed my own blog. If you need a rec for a good designer, I have a great friend that is awesome. I used to design headers, and may think about getting back into it again. Not too sure though. Oh, and the little picture of me and Southern Hubby on the top left hand side is from Designher Gals. Pretty cute site.
Happy Earth Day, y'all! Do something kind for your mama today!
xoxo Y
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