Putting the fires out

Sometimes I feel like I have a million fires that I need to put out. And no, they don't all have to do with errands or my house. The fires I'm talking about are the pressures I put on myself to be the best wife, helpmeet, friend, cook, crafter, and puppy momma I can be.

Let me back up....

Several months ago I was looking for direction in regards to having my position as wife and housewife become my ministry. I was looking for ways to know and feel that I was doing His work and pleasing Him. So, I started looking online and lo and behold I see a plethora of Christian homemaking blogs. I needed direction and now I knew where to find it!

And that is where y'all came in. I fell in love with all my new blog reads. I felt validated- there were women out there who valued women being at home! Even if she didn't have a child. And even if she had a degree in childhood education she 'wasn't using.' I couldn't believe my luck. So I started bookmarking them all like crazy. Any blog that had anything remotely to do with housekeeping/homemaking and the like went onto my now overflowing favorites section. And after several months of gaining insight and wisdom from those who went before me, I decided to delve into the world of the homemaker's blog myself. And I loved it!

So here I am, a couple months later. And I'm drowning. I have 30+ homemaking blogs that I read faithfully. And each one of them is packed with valuable information, wonderful tips, delicious recipes, motivation to keep going, wisdom, and spiritual lessons. I'm inundated with so much positive information, tips, hints and goals that I feel like I'm going under. One blog tells me how to plan my grocery trip so as to save the most money. Another blog gives me a tutorial for a super cute craft. And another writes a very wise and uplifting article about doing His will by staying home.

And I feel that I need to read and do them all. In the mind of this perfectionist (which you all know I suffer from), I need to do them all in order to be the (gulp!) perfect housewife. I don't think I need to tell you how many times that ugly word goes through my head daily.

"Jen, the bed has to be perfectly smooth on top. No wrinkles!"

"Who sat on my couch?! I had just fluffed my pillows perfectly!"

"If I don't get my icing to match the color of the team's uniforms perfect, then my cookies might as well be ruined!"

On top of the online reading, I have quite a few books and book studies that need to be looked at and read. I'm not even finished with The Excellent Wife and I'm already so eager to start on Created to Be His Helpmeet book and journal! But then the first chapter of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World captivated me so much that I want to start reading it, too. But I can't read both and give them the equal attention they would deserve. So I wait rather impatiently....trying my hardest not to rush through the last two chapters of my current study. What good would that do?

And now I feel the call to take on yet another challenge in the hopes of giving my morning time with Him direction. I want to read the whole Bible in a year. I've signed up for this challenge at City on a Hill. This is something I've wanted to do for a while now, but it just seems like another thing I need to keep up with. And to me, they are all so important. But is the call coming from God? Or is it coming from the perfectionist within that wants to be the best at everything, including a dutiful Catholic wife and helpmeet.

How do I discern which is which?