About a year ago, I got this in my email with some snide title that I long have forgotten. I quickly read it to look for the mistakes, sexist attitude or whatever it was that made this article so horrible that it was passed on and on.I couldn't really find much.
This article, from the May 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly (now where is this generations Housekeeping Monthly, I ask you?! The National Enquirer?) Let's go through and see what the article says, shall we?
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Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish!) is part of the warm welcome needed.
I can't find anything here that would make me cringe. Why would letting your husband know you're concerned about him be a bad thing? Seems like good, solid knowledge to me!
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Who wants to look like Roseanne on a bad day when her husband sees her? Not I. I like to brush my hair and run some lip gloss over. I'm not getting ready for the prom, people! It takes 3 minutes tops. I think I have 3 minutes for my sweet Hubby!
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
And I'm sure he will return the favor. Wives and mothers do need to unwind as well, and since you were so happy and generous to have him speak, he will joyfully do the same.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Nothing bad here...
Gather up school books, toys, papers, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Or here.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
After working to provide for his family, what husband would not want this sort of treatment at home? And you know what? It would give me immense satisfaction to know that my hard working husband considers our home a haven. If he didn't, I bet I may find him working late for no reason, spending time at bars maybe, and wanting to be anywhere but at home. And that sounds like the beginning of trouble...
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small; comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
I bet he'd much appreciate coming home to a calm and quiet house. Sure, it may not happen every single day- this is real life, after all. And I'll bet he doesn't expect it. But I can promise you he takes note and is grateful for these special times. And your children will learn the value of consideration for others. Sounds like a horrible thing, doesn't it?! Geez.
Be happy to see him.
I dare one uber feminist to say anything bad about this one. It should be a given.
Greet him with a warm smile and sincerity in your desire to please him.
This one should be, too.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.*
I've bolded these for a reason. See below for why I did so.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Again, if you don't do this, don't be surprised if he starts spending less and less time at home, and more and more time wanting to hang out with his buddies. Sound a bit harsh? Yes. But would you be doing what the Lord wanted you to do if you weren't doing these things? Nope. He desperately needs a place to calm down and unwind and you want to make sure this place is with you and your family!
Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Oh goodness, this should be our mantra throughout the day. When your family is inside your house, and you are spending quality time together, God is making it a holy place to be. Don't you think he looks down on your little (or big in the Duggar's case!) group and smiles or cries tears of joy to see what you have created inside the home He gave you? I'll bet he does and I'll bet he loves it so much that He stays and joins in on the fun!
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Cause who wants that? I sure don't. So why would your husband? This is common sense, not worthy of emailing as a joke all over the world.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Sounds easy enough to me...
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. *
"Your husband is head of the house, and God is head of your husband." Now, where did I read that little gem...?? Oh yes! The Bible!
And again, check below for why that sentence is bold.
A good wife always knows her place. *
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OK, let's think about what we've just read.
I did a little digging, and there is rumor that this article was fabricated and passed around as a sort of joke and dig at how 'mistreated' women were back then. One person wrote, "We've come a long way, baby!" before she passed this forward along. I agree. We've come a long way. (Too bad it was in the wrong direction!) It has been suggested that this was written as a sort of satire on the times as it is now very 'cool' to portray outdated attitudes and how ridiculous they are in comparison to how much better we are now.
I bolded those lines because it seems so obvious that some clever writer has purposely put them there to make women of today furious. "How dare someone say I should know my place and that my husband's thoughts are more important that mine!?"
Well honey, you should. And they are.
But if you are living out your roles the way God has outlined them for you, you will realize that this is not a bad thing. You will relish the freedom of living in submission. Did I hear a gasp from the crowd when I wrote freedom and submission in the same sentence? Yeah, I guess it does sound ironic. But it truly is very liberating and freeing. My husband is head of The Southern Household and he will stand before the Lord and be accountable for his family. My goodness, to think that that huge responsibility and weight would be on my shoulders would make me break down in tears. And that is why God did not give women that role. Our sweet husbands are stronger than us. Yes, they are. They'd have to be to know that this task is on their shoulders. Yet they know it and accept it because it is His way. And just that one fact should be motivation enough for us to do all those things the article said...and a hundred times more. For me, this is a reminder that I need to thank my dear husband daily for taking that on for us and any future children. But unfortunately, the article mocks this. It assumes that we know better today and are smarter than our great grandmothers ever were. But are we really?
Personally, not one thing I read in the piece offended me. Sadly, I received this email with terribly haughty remarks from women who think that the 1950's was a dreadful time, full of inequality and submission. Oh goodness, I'd give my left foot to be back in the 1950's! If an apron was my uniform, I'd wear it gladly and I'd probably embroider my monogram on it to make it super cute! :) If my only worries were having dinner set on the table, or hoping my children weren't over-staying their welcome at the Smith house down the street, how wonderful would life be!? Instead, mothers today worry about whether or not the Smiths down the street are pedophiles, or if sweet Johnny and Cindy will even make it back home from school without getting kidnapped, or whether or not there are enough bars on her door to keep the robbers and gangs out of her home.
Now, can someone please remind me again why today's women shudder at the thought of living in the 1950's?
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