Handing over the control and praying as a couple

One of the most important things that I walked away from at my Weekend to Remember conference last week, was to pray with my husband. In fact, one of the speakers, founder of Family Life, Dennis Rainey, went so far as to say that he thinks that is the secret to staying happily married. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me.

Of course the thought of praying with Southern Hubby had crossed my mind, but I never truly wanted to entertain the idea. For me, praying is such a personal part of one's relationship with Christ. To do so with SH would be leaving myself wide open. Wide open for personal judgement or ridicule.

Would he think I prayed the wrong way? What is the right way to pray? Would he think I was being too causal? Would he think I was praying for stupid things? Did I address God the correct way?

To this private Southern girl, it was a fate worse than being naked in front of an audience. My prayers were between me and God, not me and the world.

All these things raced through my mind that weekend and before I knew it, one of the projects was to pray with your husband. We were to find a private spot, write a letter saying how the weekend has changed us, read the letters to each other, and pray for His strength in making our marriage succeed.

I knew I couldn't get out of it. I knew I had to step away from my comfort zone. So, I told SH that I was scared, that I was nervous and didn't think I could do it. I didn't know how to pray with him and I certainly wasn't opening myself up that way. Being the sweet, sweet man that he is, he pulled me closer to him and grabbed my hands. He assured me that he would lead us in prayer because he was the head of our family. He told me that whenever I felt comfortable, I could jump right in. If that took a week, great, but if it took a year, that would be fine, too. Our first focus was to come to Him in times of joy, sorrow and praise as a married couple. So, we prayed. Right then and there. In public. Just the two of us. Without a doubt it was one of the most intimate moments I have ever spent with my husband.

Relief washed over me as I knew that my precious husband had realized and accepted the role that God had given him in our marriage. He knew it was ok to take charge- that he wasn't being an over-bearing sexist pig by taking the lead. God wanted him to be in command, in control. We aren't made the same. It is not in me to be the leader (although sometimes I am willful and stubborn and act like I am!) God gave that virtue to my husband and it was with great relief that I handed it over. Can you imagine how wonderfully different this world would be in women could just hand control over to their husbands and to God? Why fight it? Why be stubborn?

After the weekend, SH confessed to me that sometimes it can all get to be too much. Having the weight of the world and your family on your shoulders is a lot of stress, no doubt. But the speakers told them that it was okay- God had designed me to be workhorses. He designed them to withstand the pressures and through His amazing grace come out victorious. It was a relief to him to hear that he was not the only one that felt that way. I think it gave him a much needed boost of confidence. Men are to lead and support the family and women are to help them in doing so. It is okay that we're different. There can't be two cooks in the kitchen without chaos.

Sorry that I jumped around a bit in this post. It is amazing the things I walked away from this weekend. I can't stress enough what a powerful difference it can make in your marriage. And I just want to share them all. I know I can't, that it is something that every couple must experience themselves, but when you are filled with God's divine love, it is hard to keep yourself from shouting it to everyone. :)

I will continue to keep you updated on us praying as a couple. For right now, we are going through a great couple's devotional. We have found it a great way to get our prayers started and to discuss things that matter in our relationship. After I ordered it, I found that you could also register for a daily email to recieve that day's devotional. (Click on 'Register to Subscribe" under Moments with You.)So for those that can't afford it right now, I would suggest you get it that way.

Happy praying!

xoxo Y