A 20-something's look at feminism

Feminism can be quite the slippery subject. Brought up in a crowd of high powered lawyers, and you might be given one opinion. But bring the topic up to a crowd of stay at home wives and mothers and the opinion may be the exact opposite.

But what happens when you bring the topic up to a group of young college graduates, who were more often than not raised by working mothers that grew up in the bra burning era?

I was dying to know.

And this is where you come in...

Most of us know where I stand. Like many of you, I hold a college degree. In my family it was not an option. You graduate high school then go on to college. Period. But after one year of working, I knew the classroom was not where I was meant to be forever. In that one year of marriage, my heart changed. I longed to be home. I wanted to wake up every morning, get the coffee going, make the bed and get Southern Hubby off to work. I wanted to join bridge clubs, volunteer, learn to sew and quilt. I wanted to be the PTA president, have fresh cookies baked when my child arrived home from school; I wanted to dig my hands into my home- knowing that I had a hand in every clean toilet, every streak free mirror, every dust free shelf, and every precious tradition.

To me, there was no greater gift I could give my family.

But I had to come a long way to get to that point. As a child, I do remember wishing my mother was home. As a teen, even though an empty house allowed me many freedoms, deep down I longed for her to be there. But I didn't know any different. None of my friends had stay at home mothers. That was a figment of a 1950's past. Real women had jobs. Real women juggled home and work. Real women were told they could have it all. Right?

What do you think? Where do you stand on this hot topic issue? Can you have it all?

My mother in law is coming into to town, so my posts might be spotty! I can't wait to read y'all's answers!

Happy crisp fall day! Only 2 more days until Halloween!!!

xoxo

UPDATE: Of course, as all the great comments come in, I am reminded of how 'small' my view of feminism was presented in my blog. No, I do not think it is only work vs. home. I am so passionate about this subject, I could have written thesis length post, but I decided to spare my readers. :)

Suffice it say, I believe feminism is about women being created equal. And here is where my view will get me in to trouble with many women. I believe we are equal, yes. But I believe we were created different- with different strengths and different weaknesses.

My views, which are based on my Christian beliefs, tell me that although we are created equal and are equal in value (in God's eyes), we are here to do things differently. God made women delicate and feminine. We are nurturing and creative. He made us soft and caring, with empathic hearts. To me, these characteristics serve well at home.

Many women will say, "I'd love to stay home but we cannot afford to be a one income family."  But let me leave you with this thought...Why do you need two incomes?

In the 1950's and 60's, the average American home was less than 1500 sq. feet. That size has doubled today. It was considered normal for two boys to share a room. There was no dedicated 'TV/media' room. No pool table area. Only one bathroom was needed, not one for each person. Women sewed. Some made their own clothes. Children's lunches weren't expensive 'lunchables', they were left overs, or homemade sandwiches. A lot of women made due with what they had in order to stay home. I think the whole mentality of 'keeping up with the Jones' is a big reason women cannot afford to stay home. Alot of people buy into to this mentality, me included. (BTW, no where in this am I saying that I'm perfect or above these ideals.)

And the ramifications were tremendous. I noticed a shift in society when women went into the work force. Morals went down. Crime went up. Women were not at home monitoring what their children got into. A two income lifestyle lead to more wants, more 'needs', more, more, more. The simple life no longer existed. Like one commenter said, you cannot have it all. Something will suffer.

 And I think that is where 'femininsts' sold us a raw deal....telling us we could have it all. Life doesn't work that way. It only drove women crazy. Their self worth suffered because, although they got that raise at work, Timmy fell behind on him homework and has to repeat a grade. They put in their 60 hours at work, but felt guilty over sending Molly to school with store bought cupcakes, not homemade kind like she wanted. If you are not "Super Mom," then you're a failure. Super Mom does it all. No one tells them that Super Mom is a big fat lie.

I could write on and on, but I'll save that for another post. Just thought I'd add this in, too. Whooo, this one stirred the pot for sure...have at me gals! ;)